Welcome to One Busy Momma! The Blog for Busy Moms by one Busy Mom.....

Welcome to my blog. One Busy Momma is my space to rant about my life and the things that happen in it. I have a crazy life - and instead of focusing on the crazy - I like to focus on the funny. Because if I focused on the craziness - well, I'd have been shipped off to an institution long, long ago. And while, I'll admit, there are some days when being institutionalized sounds PRETTY GOOD compared to making ANOTHER diorama at 1am - I'd rather be right where I am - in my messy house with my not so perfect kids making crooked dioramas in the middle of the night.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Have you met my friend Peri?

Hi Peeps! Happy Purple Sunday to my friends in the Raven's Nation! So I have had the MOST FABULOUS DAY!!! SERIOUSLY - FABULOUS! Why so fab? you ask. Well...let me tell you I found the most amazing product eva... more on that later. First - I need to set you up for this product and why I feel it might be life changing.

OK - so have any of you met my friend Peri? To the 3 guys who are loyal fans and read my blog religiously- I thank you, I love you - but you need to stop reading - like NOW. Tootle-loo and come back and read the next post. The post that follows is of absolutely no use to you and will most likely frighten you. So seriously - stop reading.


Sanitary Napkin

Cervical Mucous....

OK - good. They're gone. This post is for ladies only. It's really a warning. A Public Service Announcement from your friends at Busy Momma. So, my friend Peri is actually no friend of mine. She's a real bitch. Her last name is Menopause. A-HA! You say. Some of us know her all too well. Peri came to visit me about a year and a half ago and that stupid bitch won't leave. Not only won't she leave, but she appears to be moving in - permanently. I HATE her. At first, she was only a bit bitchy - kind of like a wanna-be mean girl. Not outright vicious, but she sort of would sneak up on you and try herself out for size while no one was looking. First, she forced me to buy bigger pants. She crept into my closet and made all of my beautiful Ann Taylor suits and blouses too small. Bitch. Then, she made all of my efforts to fit back into those suits backfire! It seemed like the harder I tried, the harder she worked to keep me out of my closet. That's when I realized that this bitch has staying power.

Then, to make matters worse - she started waking me up at night. Every night. I think she must be tap dancing on my bladder or hooking me up to an iv while I sleep because I can't make it through the night without having to get up to pee. Which wouldn't be so bad if she let me go back to sleep when I was done. But nope - she also keeps me awake. It's like she has a remote control and she has programmed it to control my thoughts. One night she pushes the "Let's have Busy Momma lay awake thinking about work tomorrow" button. The next night she might push the " Let's have Busy Momma lay awake and worry about all sorts of terrible things that might happen - but probably won't" button. When she is feeling super-bitchy, she pushes the "Let's have that annoying song by One Direction play over and over again in Busy Momma's head". WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS LADY???? She is a sadist!

But now, now she has gone too far. She has initiated a sequence of events that, in my mind, is an all out declaration of war. She is messing with my internal, basal body temperature. She is causing HOT FLASHES! Son of a bitch - she's gone too far this time. I am NOT accepting this new symptom. No sir, I am not. It all started about 6 months ago at night - which was really bad enough. I would wake up DRENCHED in sweat. And I mean DRENCHED. Now understand that my AC is always set on 69 degrees - and yes, my BGE bills are enormous. We are already a warm-blooded people over here in Busy Momma land. PC is covered in fur and is always hot. So we always have the AC set AND the ceiling fan going on high every night. We like it when it is cold enough to hang meat in our bedroom. But try as we may to make it like an Artic campout in our bedroom - I will wake up drenched in sweat, having to pee with Radio Disney songs playing on a never-ending loop in my head.

But now, Peri has just done me in. The hot flashes are now occurring DURING THE DAY. In front of people. And you all know that I make my living by dressing up and going out and standing IN FRONT OF PEOPLE and teaching them. GROWN people. People who notice when your hair is SOAKING WET and drips of sweat are dripping off your nose into your cleavage. Not kidding. There is NO hiding it either. I carry tissues with me - but when I try to mop myself up with tissues - well, it's just not pretty. Those brown paper handtowels that they have in public restrooms don't absorb ANYTHING. All they do is wipe off your makeup, yet leave all of the sweat on your face. So now, I carry a cold, wet washcloth with me in an insulated lunchbox wherever I go. But, it's kind of super-obvious when you are about to stand up and talk to people and you have to open your lunchbox and mop yourself down first. And kind of super gross.

Well all of that stops today my Peeps. Oh, yes, that is right. Busy Momma found a product that just might stop Peri in her tracks and it is called....are you ready? It's good. It is called................

The Cleavage Cooler!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What IS this miracle product and how on earth can it battle the evil genius that is Peri? Well my friends - here is what you do. This little tiny sack...that PC says looks like a "penis sock" (which is REALLY disturbing)...is filled with some sort of magical material. I don't know what it is called and don't care. Let's call it - kick-ass stuff. So - when you submerge this little dynamo in cold water, the kick-ass stuff plumps up and STAYS ICE COLD for an HOUR!!!!!

So - you put the plumped-up, icy-cold, little pocket of heaven in your cleavage...that's right - in between your boobies - and it cools you down! I swear to God it works - I'm using it right now as I type. TMI? Perhaps - but I won't endorse a product unless I've tried it. Now I squeezed mine out a bit so that it's not soaking wet. But she's working it in there. I'm as cool as a cucumber.

Who would have thought this up? A Boobie-Cooler! A FREAKING GENIUS - that's who!!!

PC wouldn't let me post a picture of the above pictured Boobie-Cooler in use. I tried to explain that this was a public-service kind of post, but he just shook his head and said something like "Think of your children for Christ's sake. This post is bad enough. You are talking about icing down your breasts. To the general public. Your readers will get the idea." So sorry Peeps - no action shots.But I am telling you - you MUST get one of these RIGHT away! I bought mine at the Bel Air Festival for the Arts - which is ending right about now. But never fear - this awesome lady has a website where she sells boobie coolers and much, much more. She also sells handmade theraputic heating and cooling pads. We have several and they are great.

I have two of these guys. I think they are called the "Lower Back Pad"s - but I call them "The Cramp Killers". (She should really let me remane ALL of her products, don't ya think?) I also have her lavendar scented eye pillow for my migraines and her lavendar scented neck and shoulder wrap. You pop these babies in the microwave for 2 minutes and you have a good 30-40 minutes of heat therapy. I keep the eye pillow in the freezer and it is just so soothing.

OK - so here is her website address: www.Relaxpak.com

The name of the genius who makes these boobie coolers is Ilka Werner. (Oh, and she doesn't call them "boobie-coolers", that's my special name for what she calls Cleavage Coolies) And here is the BEST part: Ilka gave me ONE TO GIVE AWAY TO A READER!!!!!!!!!
This awesome zebra-printed Cleavage Coolie is up for grabs - so the FIRST person to leave a comment either here on the blog or on my Facebook page will be the lucky winner. This is a FOUR DOLLAR VALUE my Peeps! FOUR dollars! The most VALUABLE thing Busy Momma has EVER given away.

OK and the ONLY thing Busy Momma has ever given away...but that is all about to change! We will be having more giveaways...once I hook up with other vendors who want to give stuff away.....

So - get cracking - leave a comment and tell me why YOU need a boobie cooler of your very own.....

Friday, September 14, 2012

Falling into...Order???

Well hey there Peeps! How is your September shaping up? Here in Busy Momma land school is back in full swing and the return of school inevitably signals the beginning of the chaos that we like to call "fall". I don't know what it is about the fall season that makes it seem SO overwhelming to me. Well, actually I DO think I know. Stepping back into the order and routine of the school year is hard for us. We LOVE our summers. My job slows down...a tiny bit... and we get to spend more lazy time together - at the pool, at the beach, even just at home. It's like we forget and relax the rules a bit for 8 or 9 weeks...and it is divine. Want to stay up late and watch a movie on a Wednesday night? Okay. Want to go out and get ice cream after dinner on a Monday? Sure - let's go! Want to just eat dinner tonight at the pool? Sure - who is ordering the pizza?

But all too soon, those school supplies start arriving at Target, uniforms are ordered, bookbags are packed, teachers are met and whammo - vacation is over. And we feel like this:

And it seems like we go from 0-60 in a flash! One day we're chiiling at the pool, reading a book and our biggest concern is having enough coals for the grill tonight. The next day we are trying to juggle piano, soccer, tutoring, chorus, cross country, HOMEWORK, getting to bed on time, getting up early, making healthy lunches and balanced dinners and on and on and on!

My last Back-to-School post was titled "Falling into Chaos". And as funny as it was - it was funny in retro-spect. Meaning it wasn't really funny screaming at PC because I forgot about scout meetings and uniforms and whatnot. And PC didn't find it all that hilarious either - at the time. So, I was bound and determined that we would start off on the right foot this year as Bella began Middle School.  I knew that there would be multiple teachers and multiple assignments and that would mean LOTS and LOTS of paper to manage and organize. And - well, if you've seen my desk - you know that's kinda not my thing. I am a paper hoarder. I am afraid to throw anything out and as a result I have 3 filing cabinets in my office that are stuffed to the limit- because you never know - I might need the instruction manual for that 12-year- old Pack and Play one of these days. As I type I am looking at a pile of handouts that I got at a meeting in JULY that STILL need to be filed away. And many of you heard my "Whoops - I forgot to register my kids in school this year" story...so let it suffice to say that I needed to get me some organizational systems in place.

So here is what I did:

I created these hanging "pockets" for each kiddo. We empty everyone's folders every night, but we don't always have time to file away everyone's papers into proper folders. So, we keep all of our papers for the week - study guides, permission slips, reminders, graded papers - in our pockets.

Then, when we have time on the weekend - we empty our pockets, get rid of outdated papers that we don't need to keep and file papers that we need to keep in a file box. The hanging folders are color-coded by kid. Bella's are red and Jack's are blue. I keep the school calendar in th front of the box and write down everyone's assignments - Jack's in blue and Bella's in pink on this calendar. This wayPC and  I know what's going on, what test is happening on what day, AND I am also looking at the school calendar so that I'm not missing picture day or out-of-uniform day and whatnot.

But wait - there's MORE! I found these AWESOME pads at Target. They are magnetic and I hang mine on the fridge. It has a place for EVERYONE's activities AND a place on the bottom where I plan out my meals for the week. This way - everyone knows where I am every day and where the kids need to be! I cannot live without this thing.
I also found them at Staples. It is called the Weekly Family Planner by momAgenda. The website is www.momagenda.com - I don't get anything from these guys...other than a manageable life!!! I actually just bought one for my mom's house since it takes a village to raise my kids and my parents do most of the after-school pick-up and homework doing, I thought it would be useful for them to have a duplicate.

So I think we are starting off as well as we possibly could. So far, I have managed to get all forms signed and returned, permission slips filled out, hot lunches ordered, picture slips filled in, scouting dues turned in AND I have also managed to sign up for 1 volunteer committee at school, 2 slots for the Fall Festival and 1 cub scout popcorn selling slot. (OK - PC did that. But I did print out the schedule and add it to the master calendar!)

Now before you go and think - Hey that Busy Momma is one brilliantly organized Chickie - I'm really not. I don't take credit for ANY of these ideas. I got the pocket idea from Pinterest...the subject of an upcoming post. I got the hanging file system from a GREAT book called The Organized Student by Donna Goldberg.

It is a REALLY great book that I think every Busy Momma should have on her book shelf. Especially if you are the Busy Momma of a kid with executive function, organizational or attention issues.

Will it work? I hope so. Bella has some really AWESOME teachers who are totally focused on making this transition easy on the kids - and their parents. I left Back-to-School night feeling like: "OK, I think we can do this." If any of you guys have any tried and true organizational hints - send them my way!!! I'll take all of the help I can get!

The Organized Student: Teaching Children the Skills for Success in School and Beyond: Donna Goldberg,Jennifer Zwiebel: 9780743270205: Amazon.com: Books

The Organized Student: Teaching Children the Skills for Success in School and Beyond: Donna Goldberg,Jennifer Zwiebel: 9780743270205: Amazon.com: Books