For the Times They are a Changing.....

"Come gather round people wherever you roam



And admit that the waters around you have grown


And accept it that soon you'll be drenched to the bone


If your time to you is worth saving


Then you'd better start swimming or you'll sink like a stone


For the times, they are a changing" Bob Dylan

It's one of my favorite songs. Dylan really had it right with this one - he had alot right - but this one especially. I often tell Bella, my child who fears and shuns change as many of us shun and fear ugly footwear- that the only constant in life is change. (I'm great with a cliche in a crisis.) And when I think about change, and how life as we know it has changed in the past decade- I'm struck with one overwhelming thought - Facebook.

That's right - Facebook. When you think about that - it's pretty messed up. Or at least I think it's messed up that in the decade that my life and identity and sense of who I am changed the most - by becoming a parent to two children (and one cooking away)- I see the introduction of Facebook as one of the biggest changes in my life. And more importantly - in our society as a whole. Facebook has been a game changer for many, many people. It has connected and reconnected people all over the world. If nothing else, it has certainly made the world smaller and more accessible. I just read that if Facebook were a country - it would be the third largest country in the world.  If Facebook keeps growing at it's current rate - it will reach its goal of 1 billion users by August of 2012. One out of every dozen GLOBAL citizens has a Facebook account. That is just an extraordinary statistic to me. I can't wrap my head around it.

I am facinated by the kinds of things people post on FB. Last week, aomeone that I know posted that his brother had just died suddenly. As in "I just found a couple of moments ago out that my brother died suddenly...."  I'm not saying that with any hint of criticism at all. It's just facinating to me that some people share everything via FB. I will admit the question of how much is too much ? does cross my mind when I read posts like that one.

AND before I go throwing stones...I will admit that I am a HUGE FB user and I too post personal information. I posted news of my pregnancy and the gender of my little cooking baby on FB. I like to think that posting that news was a way of sharing our joy with friends and family near and far. But as I think about it - do all 176 of my "friends" really need to know that? Do they even care? We all know the answer to that one.  I like to think that my posts are funny and friendly and witty...and I guess some of them are. (They are VERY witty to me of course. ) I posted that I was going to New York today for a meeting and a luncheon. In retrospect - I don't think many people really gave a rat's pa-tootie where I was or what I was doing today.

PC has gone off of the Facebook grid. He can't stand the potential invasion of privacy. My parents are APPALLED by Facebook. And as much as I like to poke fun at them about their lack of technological savvy - they do have a point. My mother gets all "up in my grill" when I post some tidbit of information and one of my aunts tells her that one of my cousins saw on Facebook that I was ...fill in the blank.  One thing about Facebook is that once it's out there - it's out there. ANd you can't ever take it back.

I know people who were inadventently "outed" on Facebook. And by "outed" I mean CAUGHT doing or saying something that they either shouldn't have been doing - or told someone else they were NOT doing. I've seen every scenario from one girlfriend being ditched for a lunch date by another girlfriend who called and said she had a cold and cancelled the date - only to post later in the day that she had a great time outlet shopping with so and so. Now while that's hurtful - it's not earth shattering. Earth shattering is finding pictures of your husband or wife in a compromising position with someone else's husband or wife. I've seen that. I've seen people "tagged" in photos that they were not aware anyone was taking - let alone POSTING on a social networking site. I've been tagged in photos that were less than flattering and had them posted all over FB. That really upset and irritated me. It's one thing for me to post pictures of myself and my family. It's another thing all together when someone else posts pictures of you. I think that is a COMPLETE invasion of my right to privacy.

And that leads to a BIG question about privacy. What is privacy in a digital age? Do we really have any privacy any more? Do we value our privacy any more? About a year ago, when I was working as a doula, I got a call from a reporter at the Baltimore Sun. He was writing an article about our facination with social networking and Twittering. He wanted to know if any of my clients were planning on Twittering through labor and delivery. Now, after I stopped laughing at this guy - he explained that PLENTY of people Twittered during L&D. My initial reaction was "Are you freaking kidding me?". But now I believe him. I just read that a woman named Angie Jackson did a live Twitter feed as she was having an abortion. Seriously. What does all of this social sharing tell our children about privacy and their right to it? What impact will all of this uber-over sharing have on our kids? 

I can't answer that question. And I'm sure that many people who read this blog will find this post hypocritical. A woman who writes a blog about her life and her family and pokes fun at alot of it  is waxing poetic about privacy? And maybe it is - I don't know. I guess it's all in how you look at it. One thing is for sure - our kids are entering a world where the whole concept of personal privacy and our right to it is rapidly changing. If you don't believe me - go get a full body pat down at the airport. It's quite an eye opener.

"Come mothers and fathers all over this land



And don't criticize what you can't understand


Your sons and your daughter are beyond your command


Your old role is rapidly aging


Please get out of the new one if you can't lend a hand


For the times they are a changing"

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year......

Ok - it is December 14th. 11 days left until Christmas. Holy Shit. I am freaking out. I am almost done with the Santa shopping - almost. But that's ALL I have done. I don't have one, single, solitary thing for anyone else. Oh my God. How did this happen? How did I get so terribly behind??? Does anyone else ever get to this point? The point where you begin waking at 4am - cycling through all of the things you have left to do and trying to figure out how you are going to get it all done???

This morning - in my sleep-deprived delirium at 4:22am, I began thinking about gifts that I could give without having to actually going anywhere to buy them. Or wrap them. Gifts that I can order online that come with certificates that you can hand out. Gifts that make the recipient feel good about themselves. I mean, really - how many Bath and Body Works sets DO the teachers need? How many sweaters can one guy actually wear? How much crap can one home hold? By 4:40 am - this idea was sounding better and better to me. I'm thinking that I could buy my brother and sister-in-law a share of a goat or a chicken or cow or something for a poor family in Ish-ka-bibble. Somebody sells those things - right? Sally Struthers perhaps? Then I could buy a loom time share for a woman who wants to start her own weaving business in far off West Kaput for my parents. I think there is a company that sells all sorts of stars and heavenly bodies that you can name after people - who wouldn't like to get a black hole or something named after them? I can buy all of these things on-line and just give the lucky recipients certificates that say "Hey - instead of buying you some sort of crap - a chicken was donated in your name. Wa-Hoo!" Who wouldn't love that?

See - this is what happens when you wait until the last minute to shop. You start to panic and freak out and convince yourself that these ridiculous gift scenarios might indeed work. I have seen this happen to other people - like my dad and my husband. One year, I do believe that my dad actually forgot to buy anything for my mom's stocking and he wound up putting office supplies in there. No kidding - she got a bag of rubber bands, some 3-prong outlet converters, paper clips...stuff that I think he probably found in her desk drawer. How does that happen? What is the actual thought process there? Are you just so deluded and freaked out at 2am on Christmas Eve that you are truly able to convince yourself that your wife will be excited to get rubber bands in her stocking?  Then there was the infamous year that I had a "Safeway" Christmas. What is a "Safeway Christmas" you ask? It is the magical holiday where ALL of your gifts were purchased at 2:30pm on Christmas Eve - at Safeway. No joke - PC really dropped the ball that year. And to make matters WORSE - he acted like he didn't understand why on earth I was SO upset. Because, really, who wouldn't be thrilled to get a gift certificate to the grocery store from Santa? Poor guy - he's never going to hear the end of that one. Then -to add insult to injury - Bella always reminds him that she DID tell him - as he was buying my Safeway gifts  that "Daddies should really NOT shop for Mommies in the grocery Store. Mommy is NOT going to be happy about this situation. At ALL."

So, upon further reflection, it seems that a majority of my weekend will be spent shopping. And not shopping for goats or loom timeshares....I will be at Ann Taylor and Macy's and all over the mall to finish up. I've thought twice about my gift giving strategy since this morning. I really don't think that my brother would appreciate getting a certificate telling him that a goat - or a portion of a goat - had been donated in his name. My luck - I'd only be able to afford a foot or a hind quarter anyway.