Birthday PALOOZA!!!!!! Or Not....

Hey there my Peeps! How is everyone today? Spring has FINALLY finally sprung here on the East Coast- hope everyone is enjoying it.We are enjoying what I like to call BIRTHDAY PALOOZA over here in Busy Momma land. Jack turned 9 yesterday - holy cow! My baby is 9!!! And Bella - my beautiful, bouncing baby girl will be 12 on Friday. How on earth did THAT happen? 12?!?!?!? So this is the time of year that drives this Busy Momma into overdrive because it is birthday party season.

You see - while Busy Momma doesn't bake elaborate cakes - Busy Momma DOES like to plan ridiculously elaborate birthday parties. And by ridiculous - I mean over-the-top, insanely detailed parties. PC just LOVES this time of year. He gets roped into doing all sorts of crazy stuff that normally he would never ever have seen himself doing - like donning a FULL ON Prince Charming suit and being the Prince at one of Bella's princess-themed birthday parties. Or dressing up as Darth Varder and invading Jedi Training Camp at one of Jack's parties. (OK - that was his ultimate dream and I didn't hear one word of complaint about that one.He complained bitterly about the doublet and tights for Prince Charming.And No - there are NO photos.)

This year my party planning madness is limited to Bella. Jack wanted his party to be at Medieval Times. Which was AWESOME! Crazy expensive...but it was a GREAT time. You know it is a well-run experience when the adults, the 12-year old and the 9-year olds ALL loved it. If you've never done it I highly recommend it. And while it was super-fun - there was no planning or prep on my part. So all of my creative juices are now going to be flowing to Bella...and she's not happy about it. Where as, at one time, she appreciated my crazy, I mean spirited party planning, this year she's all "It's just 3 girls Mom." And "Like, I just want to have them sleepover and hang out. No big deal."

What I WANT to say is: "No big deal??? WHAT? It is a HUGE deal! You are turning 12!!! You are on the cusp of womanhood! You are straddling childhood and adulthood. This is a pivotal time in your life and for GOD'S SAKE you WILL REMEMBER THIS BIRTHDAY IF IT KILLS ME!"

What I actually said was: "Oh, OK. That's cool. But we sort of should plan a few small games or activities - you know. Just in case people get bored or don't like the movie or something."

And her response KILLED me:

Bella: "Like what? Mom seriously. Nothing crazy."

Like what does she think I am going to plan? A rousing game of Musical Chairs? A face painter?  A game of Around the World with multiplication flash cards? For the love of God - I've been 12. I KNOW that she doesn't want her MOTHER running games and activities like Julie the Cruise director. LAST year we had a Hunger Games sleepover and we played The Hunger Games - with weapons and people getting fake killed and it was awesome...until it started to rain and the games were suspended without a victor.But it was STILL awesome.

So - this year I have a co-party planner. I have to run EVERYTHING past the birthday girl. No surprises, nothing that might be "not cool". Whatever that might be...

But, I guess that is how it should be. She's getting older. Pulling away a bit. Exerting her new-found independence and freedom - a bit. She has definite opinions about what she wants and doesn't want.

Yes to after dark glow-in-the-dark candy hunt, spin the nail polish bottle, and chocolate fondue.

No to Pin the Kiss on Edward Cullen, make your own pillow-cases and friendship bracelet making.

Maybe to S'mores making, Beach-Ball questions game and some other activities.

So - now I'm off to Michael's and Jo Anne's and the dollar store to gather my supplies for the pre-approved list of games and activities. I feel like I'm planning a party with Hitler. I cannot imagine the agonizing that picking out a movie or two will entail. Anything " cool" I have already vetoed. Sorry - but I'm not showing a room full of 6th graders vampires having bed-breaking sex. Also not showing a movie that looked so awful that the PREVIEW  scared the crap out of me! Guess we'll have to be uncool with the movie.

I have a feeling that the upcoming teen years are going to be filled with quite a bit of give and take. I'll GIVE on the unimportant stuff - party games, favors - no problem. I will NOT give on the important stuff - like vampire sex, dating, and cut-off short-shorts.

So - I guess my days of planning elaborate birthday parties are coming to an end. It makes me sad...I'll have to find another outlet for my creativity. I wonder if it is too early to sign up for the Senior Prom Planning Committee?

This is FORTY!

Hey Peeps! Happy Easter!! I hope the bunny was good to everyone. He brought my kids their body weight in chocolate as he does every year. So - I must apologize. I have been tres negligent of my beloved blog and I know that for my tens of die-hard fans, that can be a bummer. But never fear - we've got a new post today. And the topic of today's post is...getting older and how much freaking fun that has been!

Many of you know that I turned 40 this past January.....81 days ago to be exact. And in the past 81 days - well, how does one put this? I've begun to fall apart! Not mentally or emotionally. Nope - I still have all of my marbles, the crayons are all sharp and still in the box - but physically? Well, that's another story.

 My journey to 40 started out really, really well. I spent the last week of my 30's in Sin City. That's right - VEGAS baby! If I was going to watch my 30's fizzle out - I was going to do it in style. So PC and I checked into The Wynn...highly recommend it btw... and began a weekend of debauchery!

It started like this:

with some upscale shopping...

sightseeing......

and fine dining....

But somehow, it ended like this:

 

"Hell No! I won't go bitches!!!!"

I guess that's what Vegas can do to a girl.It can take one classy lady and turn her into a hard partying, Cirque du Soleil watching  Momma who REFUSES to get out of her cushy, fluffy white bed that has a view like THIS:

(Really - who wants to leave THAT to go home and do mountains of laundry?)

Did I mention that everything in the room - the lights, tv, DRAPES, the BATHROOM lights - were all controlled by a big remote control panel next to the bed? Oh yes....even the drapes my Peeps. 

Needless to say - a good time was had by all...especially me. 

Forty wasn't looking - or feeling - so bad. Well - let's address the "looking" part before the feeling part...

So after we got home, I had one of those moments that can only be described by the term "watershed". Have you ever looked in the mirror - I mean really stopped and looked in the mirror and said:

 "Holy Mother of GOD! I look AMAZING!" 

Cool - me neither. No, I had a moment when I returned home where I looked in the mirror and said:

"Hmmmm - when did THAT happen?"

and 

"What in the name of God is THAT?"

Now it's not like I developed a third eye or a second head...but I started noticing some lines and other "things" that I SWEAR were NOT on my face or neck when I left Maryland for my "Forty is Fabulous" trip. Like seriously - they just appeared after the trip like an unwelcome birthday surprise from a creepy ex boyfriend....like herpes or something. While I'd like to believe that this little patch of VERY FINE lines around my eyes and on my neck are an after effect of the dry, dry desert air...me thinks they are not. So - in the past 81 days, I've gone from using skin-care products that say this:

To using skin care products that say this:

Yes, my Peeps, it's true. I now have to ask God for an ACTUAL miracle as I wash my face every morning and night. And, as I dry my wrinkly mug, I also have to ask the Lord to....

avoid creating any MORE fine lines as I sleep. (Laugh if you will - but ALL of these products - plus the entire "When Hope is not Enough" product line are sitting on my bathroom counter as I type.)

Then there is my friend Peri to contend with. You guys remember Peri - my crazy, psychotic new BFF who won't freaking leave me alone? Peri-menopause? She is super, duper fun. And since I turned 40 - she's been ON FIRE! She does CRAZY shit like makes me have these awesome hot flashes 8-19 times A DAY (No joke - worst day ever - 19 full on, dripping sweat down my back into my panties flashes.)  She's been getting funner and funner ever since we got home from Vegas. And by "funner" I mean a lot bitchier. I hate that slutbag. So - I gathered my courage together and finally called the doctor and sweetly cooed:

"Listen up you big lug! DO SOMETHING TO FIX THIS!!!!!!!!!"

And...thankfully - he did. HE is now my new boyfriend - replacing Ray Lewis, Jon Bon Jovi and Steven Tyler...all by suggesting that I add a little Estroven to my life. 

What is that you ask? What is Estroven? Well - simply put - Estroven is Peri's Kryptonite!!!!

It is an all-natural supplement designed to help gals like me who are battling the early onset of peri-menopausal symptoms. It has taken care of my hot flashes and night sweats and made me a MUCH happier person - which - let's face it - is a win-win for everyone around me. I LOVE this stuff. I still get a hot flash or 3 every day - but they aren't nearly as intense or as frequent. And trust me - that is a VERY good thing! 

So - we've tackled my new lines and wrinkles, my peri-menopause...now onto my newest and most annoying physical ailment...Achilles Tendinitis!!!! Yes - my Achilles tendon thinks it is way too cool to stay attached to the rest of my body and is trying to tear itself away from the inside out.Thankfully it is NOT torn or ruptured. But it is trying its darned hardest to tear. And for those of you who have been blessed to never have an Achilles injury - thank your lucky stars. Because it hurts - a lot. And when it hurts to WALK anywhere - you are screwed. I don't mean hurts as in sore or achy or even "ouch!". I mean hurts as in I-want-to-cry-every-time-I-take-a-step-and-I-don't-want-to-walk-anywhere. Which would be perfectly acceptable if I could remain in bed all day. But, my boss won't let me conduct sales presentations from bed and Jack can't reach the gas pedal in the van and Bella insists on being picked-up from her TaeKwon Do instead of walking home in the dark...so I'm kind of forced into walking. So - after 2 months of physical therapy that did nothing, my doctor put me in a walking cast and has me completely resting the foot as much as humanly possible. Which is really annoying. Don't get me wrong - I don't mind not having to do all of the house cleaning. But not being able to do fun stuff - like go rock climbing with the kids- really sucks. 

That's Jack....waaaaaaaaaay up there...

All of these changes in the last 81 days....since I turned 40. Coincidence? I think not. I think my body knows that it has come to the top of the hill and that it's about to go OVER it. But I WILL NOT go over without a fight! I am working to get this stupid tendon all healed up and will follow doctor's orders if it kills me. Ice, anti-inflammatory, physical therapy - I'm all in. I cannot face a future that involves orthodic shoes. I just cannot. I caved in and ordered a pair of orthodic slippers and a pair of orthodic sandals. I own ONE pair of shoes that the doctor feels are "safe" to wear with my aircast. ONE PAIR. All of the rest of my shoes sit sadly in their labeled boxes in my closet. They sit and taunt me. They seem to say: "Remember when you were young and could wear us?"   

I have to stop there...talking about my shoes is making me sad.....