Welcome to One Busy Momma! The Blog for Busy Moms by one Busy Mom.....

Welcome to my blog. One Busy Momma is my space to rant about my life and the things that happen in it. I have a crazy life - and instead of focusing on the crazy - I like to focus on the funny. Because if I focused on the craziness - well, I'd have been shipped off to an institution long, long ago. And while, I'll admit, there are some days when being institutionalized sounds PRETTY GOOD compared to making ANOTHER diorama at 1am - I'd rather be right where I am - in my messy house with my not so perfect kids making crooked dioramas in the middle of the night.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year......

Ok - it is December 14th. 11 days left until Christmas. Holy Shit. I am freaking out. I am almost done with the Santa shopping - almost. But that's ALL I have done. I don't have one, single, solitary thing for anyone else. Oh my God. How did this happen? How did I get so terribly behind??? Does anyone else ever get to this point? The point where you begin waking at 4am - cycling through all of the things you have left to do and trying to figure out how you are going to get it all done???

This morning - in my sleep-deprived delirium at 4:22am, I began thinking about gifts that I could give without having to actually going anywhere to buy them. Or wrap them. Gifts that I can order online that come with certificates that you can hand out. Gifts that make the recipient feel good about themselves. I mean, really - how many Bath and Body Works sets DO the teachers need? How many sweaters can one guy actually wear? How much crap can one home hold? By 4:40 am - this idea was sounding better and better to me. I'm thinking that I could buy my brother and sister-in-law a share of a goat or a chicken or cow or something for a poor family in Ish-ka-bibble. Somebody sells those things - right? Sally Struthers perhaps? Then I could buy a loom time share for a woman who wants to start her own weaving business in far off West Kaput for my parents. I think there is a company that sells all sorts of stars and heavenly bodies that you can name after people - who wouldn't like to get a black hole or something named after them? I can buy all of these things on-line and just give the lucky recipients certificates that say "Hey - instead of buying you some sort of crap - a chicken was donated in your name. Wa-Hoo!" Who wouldn't love that?

See - this is what happens when you wait until the last minute to shop. You start to panic and freak out and convince yourself that these ridiculous gift scenarios might indeed work. I have seen this happen to other people - like my dad and my husband. One year, I do believe that my dad actually forgot to buy anything for my mom's stocking and he wound up putting office supplies in there. No kidding - she got a bag of rubber bands, some 3-prong outlet converters, paper clips...stuff that I think he probably found in her desk drawer. How does that happen? What is the actual thought process there? Are you just so deluded and freaked out at 2am on Christmas Eve that you are truly able to convince yourself that your wife will be excited to get rubber bands in her stocking?  Then there was the infamous year that I had a "Safeway" Christmas. What is a "Safeway Christmas" you ask? It is the magical holiday where ALL of your gifts were purchased at 2:30pm on Christmas Eve - at Safeway. No joke - PC really dropped the ball that year. And to make matters WORSE - he acted like he didn't understand why on earth I was SO upset. Because, really, who wouldn't be thrilled to get a gift certificate to the grocery store from Santa? Poor guy - he's never going to hear the end of that one. Then -to add insult to injury - Bella always reminds him that she DID tell him - as he was buying my Safeway gifts  that "Daddies should really NOT shop for Mommies in the grocery Store. Mommy is NOT going to be happy about this situation. At ALL."

So, upon further reflection, it seems that a majority of my weekend will be spent shopping. And not shopping for goats or loom timeshares....I will be at Ann Taylor and Macy's and all over the mall to finish up. I've thought twice about my gift giving strategy since this morning. I really don't think that my brother would appreciate getting a certificate telling him that a goat - or a portion of a goat - had been donated in his name. My luck - I'd only be able to afford a foot or a hind quarter anyway.

1 comment:

  1. Personally the Llama farm share or the Alpaca Breeding Farm share is always a crowd pleaser. Have fun this weekend though!