Snips and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails....

What is that old saying about the mothers of little boys? Something like: "Son up until son down, the work of a boy's mother is never done!" Well - I have truly learned what that saying means over the past 12 weeks! My poor boy - my kid who is hardly ever sick - has been injured literally HEAD to TOE!

First - he was playing soccer in the yard and he broke a bone in his foot. OUCH! So - he was on crutches for a week and missed 3 weeks of his soccer season. THEN, he was playing soccer once again in the yard and kicked his ball over the fence. While climbing over the fence - as one does if one is a 9-year old boy - he lost his footing and fell. ONTO HIS HEAD...OUCH. Big, bad concussion. That was a real pain in the butt...and head.The treatment plan for that one was easy to follow - complete cognitive rest.  NO video games, no reading, no rainbow looming, no computer games...pretty much no fun at all. Keeping a 9 year-old boy quiet and still in a dark room is about as easy as training a cat to tap dance. And last night - in what is now being called "The Great Toothbrushing Incident of 2013" he severely sprained his right index finger. The doctor didn't "see" a fracture...but it looks like a break, feels like a break and is being treated like a break. GREAT......

What the HECK? I was kind of afraid to take Jack BACK to Urgent Care this morning. I was afraid they'd call Social Services to question me!!!! I swear - he's doing this to himself! How on EARTH do you practically break your finger and hand while BRUSHING YOUR TEETH? This does NOT happen with little girls - it just doesn't. At least it didn't happen with MY little girl. She has only been really injured once - and that was from falling off of her bike. everyone falls off of their bike at least once. What is it about little boys? Are they just natural dare devils? Are they naturally less careful than little girls? Am I just being sexist here? I don't think so. Certain stereotypes exist for a reason. I know that there ARE little girls that are just as accident prone as little boys. I just haven't met them! 

I have caught my little man about to engage in an activity that would surely maim or kill him several times in these 9 short years. The WORST incident involved me finding him with every pillow from every bed in our home on the floor of his bedroom. These pillows were arranged in a sort of "nest". Where was boy-o? On the top bunk of his bed, assuming the Superman position- ready to fly. It was by the grace of God that I walked in at that moment. You know that story on the internet about the lady who heard her ceiling fan being ripped from the ceiling because her little boys had attached themselves to the blades via belts? Yep - he tried to do that. He thought it would have been a fun ride. He has ripped every towel bar off of the bathroom walls - because he wanted to see how long he could "just hang". And I haven't even begun to tell you about all of the times I have yelled at him for trying to attach himself via jump rope to part of the swing set.

Taking him to the circus was really, really stupid.

I realize that I am so fortunate that all of these injuries have been relatively minor. The concussion was pretty scary - but again - relatively minor in the grand scheme of things. I am convinced that the hair dye companies have missed a HUGE opportunity here. You know how the formula companies give you a cheesy diaper bag filled with samples of formula when you leave the hospital? Their hope is that you will use it once you get home and if the baby doesn't fuss - you will just continue to use their brand. It's the old "if it isn't broken, why fix it?' marketing concept. Well - I think that hair dye companies should ALSO send samples home with mothers of infant boys. Because sooner or later - we NEED their product because these little boys get themselves in crazy, dangerous predicaments and then are injured and scare the natural color RIGHT OUT OF our hair! Clairol and L'Oreal are really missing out on a great opportunity here.

Now don't get me wrong - I wouldn't trade my brave boy for anything or anyone. We are so fortunate to have him - every bit of him...even his broken bits and pieces! Maybe I'd be more chill about these injuries if he were my first child. She spoiled me. She spent her first 6 years wrapped in tuille and walking delicately in ballet slippers and princess jelly shoes. She was afraid of falling and getting DIRTY...never mind falling hard enough to actually get HURT! She never did ANYTHING that could seriously injure her...please. She was way too worried about ripping her clothes for that kind of nonsense! (She still is. ) This kid is like an alien to me. He hurts himself - breaks bones - and gets upset not because it hurts - but because he can't play sports or participate in gym. That's the only UPSIDE of an injury for his sister and myself! Oh well - no matter what - as long as he manages not to do too much damage, and as long as Patricia from Visage remains the hair coloring genius that she is - it's all good. I wouldn't trade my dare devil for any other kid....