Welcome to One Busy Momma! The Blog for Busy Moms by one Busy Mom.....

Welcome to my blog. One Busy Momma is my space to rant about my life and the things that happen in it. I have a crazy life - and instead of focusing on the crazy - I like to focus on the funny. Because if I focused on the craziness - well, I'd have been shipped off to an institution long, long ago. And while, I'll admit, there are some days when being institutionalized sounds PRETTY GOOD compared to making ANOTHER diorama at 1am - I'd rather be right where I am - in my messy house with my not so perfect kids making crooked dioramas in the middle of the night.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Happy Mothers Day!

Well Hiya Peeps! Happy Mother's Day to all. I just LOVE Mother's Day - I really do. And I'll tell you why...it's the ONE and ONLY day of the year that I feel absolutely NO guilt for doing EXACTLY what I want to do ALL DAY LONG! I mean EXACTLY what I want to do. So, if that means puttering around in my "garden" - then so be it. If that means lounging on the back deck and reading a book while PC does the laundry- then SO BE IT! If that means watching a REAL Housewives Marathon all day long then...well, you get the idea. It's AWESOME!!!! And I hope all of my readers enjoy this luxury tomorrow as well.

Now for those of you reading who are STILL hemming and hawing about what to get Mom tomorrow - never fear - Busy Momma is here!!! I have a plethora of  gift giving RULES and ideas and for Mom...or Wifey...

OK - first of all - the RULES:

1. Men - I realize that your wife is NOT your mother. And therefore, a few of you...especially those of you who might be new to this whole "parenthood" business...actually might be thinking: "Wait - she's not MY Mom...you mean I have to get my WIFE a gift?" Oh yes Friend - OH yes you do. An here is why: YOU put that baby in her belly and hopefully, you watched it come out. And I'm here to tell you that oh yes - it REALLY did hurt as much as it looked like it did. SO - especially if you actually uttered the question stated above - Get thee to a jewelry store. And hurry up about it.

2. Not to get all "Tiger Mother" on your butts...but here's the thing. We all LOVE and ADORE the handmade stuff our kids make for Mother's Day. THINK about this BEFORE tomorrow morning. Because if you tell them to make her a card tomorrow morning, one of two things will happen:

A. Your kids will run to the printer, grab a sheet of paper and SLOPPILY write "hapy mofers day mom. we lov u! xoxoxo" in blue pen in about 30 seconds. Again - not to be all TIGER MOTHER...but really? Are we supposed to ooohhh and aaahhh over that piece of crap? Really? Here is what you do...have them make the card tonight. Have them draw a picture on the outside...and color it. With different colors. And then have them write something sweet inside using BEST HANDWRITING. (But don't help them spell - 'cause we go all gooshy brained over cute misspellings.)


B. Your kids will break open every "VORBODEN" art supply known to mankind if they realize that DAD is large and in charge. I'm talking glitter, FLOAM, Playdough, Moon Sand, an embossing gun and the hot glue gun - all at the same time. Tomorrow morning is NOT the time to have the kids get out the glitter and glue and paint and markers and make a cute card. Because while the card will undoubtedly be adorable....the kitchen will be destroyed and wifey will have a nervous breakdown when she sees the utter destruction. And this will INEVITABLY lead to a fight that the children will no doubt remember with fondness and a clever name like: "The Mother's Day Meltdown of 2011" ....or "The Mother's Day that Mom went all RAMBO on Dad's Ass"...or "The Mother's Day Massacre". None of those names hint at a good outcome. That's all I'm saying.  

3. This should really not ever have to be said...but because I love my male readers...all 3 of them - I'll say it. A household appliance does NOT a Mother's Day gift make. Yes, I understand that she saw the GD thing at Target and said: "OH wow - that would make my life easier." And yes, I understand that YOU might jump for joy at a thingy that backs up all of the crap on your computer. And yes, once again, I understand that she mentioned the chicken cooker thingy she saw at BJs and she says that you never listen to her and that this chicken cooker gift will prove that you DO INDEED listen. Yup - I got it. But just trust me on this one...we DO NOT want anything that we have to plug in. (Unless it is an I...fill in the blank and she SPECIFICALLY SAID "I want this I...fill in the blank for MOTHER's DAY." Seriously...just trust me.)

Now - for the fun part...gift ideas!!! What do we REALLY want? What would ANY mom enjoy tomorrow??? Well, it's a simple formula for Mother's Day happiness:

SHOW her how much she is appreciated. And by SHOW her...I don't mean with hallmark cards and diamonds. (Although those things are nice and will undoubtedly be appreciated.) But SHOW her that you understand and appreciate all that she does. Make the breakfast in bed, bring her coffee and flowers. Let her sleep in and stay in her jammies all day if that's what she wants. Make it easy for her to do the things that SHE likes to do for herself - be it taking a bike ride or planting flowers or reading a book. Do the grocery shopping, the laundry or the cleaning for her. Give Mom a day off and encourage her to just enjoy the day. In reality - that's all we really want. Sincerity doesn't cost a thing - but it will get you the most bang for your buck!

So that's all. Busy Momma is off to fold laundry before her luxurious DO NOTHING DAY tomorrow! To all of my Mommy pals - have a WONDERFUL DAY!

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