Yes - that is not a misprint. I am a bit concerned about how my 2 little people will weather the coming summer. You see - they will be spending the majority of the summer together. Except for a few weeks of camp - I try not to over schedule them. They like having nothing to do and long days of playing ahead of them. So, I let them do exactly that all summer long. And thus far - it has worked out quite well. But tonight I walked in on a conversation that made me take a step back and wonder:
Have I made a HUGE mistake this year? Should I have scheduled them in separate camps for the entire summer and given them a break from one another?
I should have known when I heard the hand slamming on the table that there was going to be BIG trouble. BIG trouble. Here is the conversation I walked into:
Her: (Red faced and completely freaking out) How dare you say that. She would be amazing at WHATEVER she tried, whatever she wanted to do!
Him: (Looking at her like she has 3 heads) She wouldn't try it. No one would try it! AND she wouldn't try it EVER because she would know that she would HATE it.
Her: She would try it because she is not afraid of ANYTHING and she would rock at it. How DARE you say she'd be a bad one.
Him: She'd be a TERRIBLE, Terrible one. She'd be HORRIBLE and she would HATE IT! And we should call her right now at work and she would tell you that you are CRAZY and that I am RIGHT!!!!
Her: (Reaching for her phone) Fine, I will call her right now and we will just SEE who is right here and who is WRONG.
Me: (The voice of reason) OK, OK - put the phone down. What on earth are you guys fighting about? Who are you calling?
Her: Aunt _____ (I am keeping the name a secret to protect the innocent.)
Voice of Reason: Oh no you are not. First of all, Aunt ___ is at work. We do not call people at work during the day to settle a dispute! Second of all - what is going on????
Him: She is COMPLETELY FREAKING out over NOTHING Mom - NOTHING!
Her: How DARE you say this is about NOTHING. How DARE you!!!! MOM - he said that Aunt ____ would make a TERRIBLE .............
Wait for it...wait for it..... What word will that sentence end with? What could cause such consternation, righteous indignation, SCREAMING, yelling and indeed - almost cause these 2 people to come to fisticuffs???
Peeps - I shit you not. This screaming match was entirely about whether Aunt ____ would make a good FROG.
(BTW - she would be a terrible frog. My boy is 100% correct. She would hate being a frog SO much that if she was in the game Frogger she'd dive into on- coming traffic to end her days of bug-eating misery.)
So - here are my big concerns:
1. WHO fights about this stuff? Seriously - who?
2. HOW on EARTH did this conversation even begin?
3. Do I even want to KNOW how this conversation began? (and now that I DO know how it began - I can answer this question with a RESOUNDING NO!)
4. If this is what they are arguing about NOW...what on EARTH will they be arguing about in the middle of July when they are sick of looking at one another???????????
Seriously my Peeps - WTF? What is wrong with my kids? Who fights over whether or not someone would make a good frog? What am I in for this summer?
Is it too late to enroll them in sleep away camp...for the entire summer? It probably is. Besides - with my luck - they'd probably come home with a more in-depth understanding of the world of amphibians and have more ammunition to prove their respective points and pick up this argument exactly where they left off.
God help me...only 14 days of school left.....
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