Notecards and Outlines and Papers Oh My! (Oh - and Throw a Board Game in There for Shits and Giggles!)

Hi my Peeps! Has everyone dug themselves out yet? I spent HOURS shoveling us out this morning. What was supposed to be a 3 incher dumped about 8 inches on us. Normally, PC handles these sorts of clean-ups...but he is sick...AGAIN! So, it was up to me and my 2 helpers. As much as I hate the idea of my little babies growing up and leaving the nest - having children who are of an age to help me do things like shovel and clean is kind of nice!Although I did feel very bad asking them to help me today.

They both have massive projects due tomorrow. Epic projects that they have been working on for weeks. Bella is working on an English project. She has to craft a speech that will convince her teacher and English class that the death penalty should be outlawed. The process of writing the speech has to begin with the kids creating 50 electronic note cards with facts that will support their case and the proper citations for each fact. She has been working on this for about 2 weeks and is FINALLY, as I type, printing them all out. She is going to take a brief break for dinner and red-carpet fashion critiquing, and she will be right back on the computer, putting the finishing touches on a Science project that somehow also involves notecards and the different types of energy.

Jack also has a Language Arts project due tomorrow. And if you want to talk about RIDICULOUS projects - well, come sit by me. I have a personal educational pet peeve - and it is about ridiculously inappropriate school projects. This particular project takes the cake. The teacher had the kids read a novel - a really good one - The Westing Game - and is asking them to do a project with it. Awesome - I love good projects. I love it when a teacher allows a child to express their understanding in a unique manner. I love it when a teacher gives kids choices. Power point presentations, timelines, sculptures, flipbooks,  board games, movies, songs are all GREAT ways for kids to express their understandings as well as their personalities and strengths. The problem is when the teacher wants them to do a power point AND create a board game AND compose an original song AND write a bird watching book...as 1 project worth 100 points. Note I didn't say "or" anywhere in there. My boy created a 25 slide power point presentation, a board game complete with game pieces, and 2 sets of cards, an obituary for one of the characters AND a movie pitch for the book.

So - yeah. We've had no life for the past 2 weeks. Thank GOD we had some snow days or we would have been in big, big trouble. My boy choose my absolute LEAST favorite project - the board game as one of his activities. I would rather help him write a paper or sculpt one of the main characters out of butter or hire a Mime to act out the book than make a freaking game. I have NO creative mo-jo when it comes to board games. They make me panic and sweat. I can't draw a game board. I can't come up with original rules or clever game pieces. Yet, somehow the game is done. (Thanks to PC)

Now I do like to pride myself on having everything done on time - early in fact. But that isn't happening with these bad boys. And I blame it entirely on the snow. And PC's sinus infection. Because my people are STILL working on the finishing touches. And it is stressing us ALL out. PC is trying to get to bed - like that's going to happen anytime soon. Jack is REFUSING to compose an original song about the Westing Game. I have provided all sorts of helpful suggestions. SO far, this is his song of choice:
(Sing to the tune of "She'll be Coming Round the Mountain When She Comes")

Oh I hate this stupid stupid book I do!
Oh I hate this stupid stupid book I do!
Oh it has too many characters
and I don't care about any of them
Oh I hate this stupid stupid book I do! 

Ahhh - my own little Kanye. So, I am thinking we need to come up with a late night bird watching book or I need to get cracking on my Sam Westing butter sculpture. But wait - I can't. Because I have a hysterical 13-year old girl crying about the thousands of people sitting on death row "just waiting to die"!!! I am now questioning the wisdom of making "The Death Penalty" one of the topics for the 8th grade speech project. I mean, knowing what we know about the melodramatic nature of 13-year old gals, couldn't we have stuck to less emotional topics? I mean, can't the objective of the lesson be met with a less hysteria-inducing topic? Like vanilla or chocolate? McSteamy or McDreamy? Coke or Pepsi? Neil Patrick Harris or Ellen DeGeneres? Birdman or Boyhood?

So, as you sit back and enjoy watching the Oscars - think of me. Picture Jack, singing his "original" song. Picture Bella, working on her types of energy notecards, smearing the ink with the tears she is crying over all of the "poor, poor people on death row....sitting and waiting to die......". Picture PC, coughing, blowing his nose, trying to block the singing and crying out while yelling "KNOCK IT OFF!" at the singer and telling the crier that the people she's crying about "won't be crying for you tomorrow when those Science notecards aren't ready!!!!"

And friends, picture me. Guzzling wine right out of the bottle at this point. Guzzling wine, massaging my butter, wondering if it will soften up in time for me to sculpt it, trying to come up with rhyming words for "Westing Game" and "Faked his own death" and "Turtle Wexler". (In case the butter sculpture doesn't work out and we have to go back to the original song.) All while contemplating the fact that in this country of ours, one can be put to death by lethal injection, firing squad, gas chamber and hanging. And if Jack keeps singing, Bella keeps crying, and PC continues to yell at them both - I think I'll go for the firing squad.....