So, the tooth fairy paid us a visit last night. Bella lost another tooth - probably one of the last she will loose for a while.
The tooth fairy looked like hell. He was wearing a big, bulky sweater, he was pale as a ghost and had shadows under his eyes, was shivering and sweating all at the same time. Sounds like a horror movie - huh? Nope. Sadly, it was just PC. He remembered the whole tooth fairy thing before he came to bed. He is suffering from a stomach virus that is raging thru the schools and our house right now. Mrs. Tooth Fairy was sound asleep when this vision of tooth fairy horror woke me up to ask: "Do you have a dollar bill in your wallet? Bella lost a tooth." (In my defense, I've been travelling and fell asleep with Jack while putting him to bed.")And, as I looked at him, all diseased and pale with a slight green tint to his clammy skin in the moonlight, I realized 2 things:
1. This is why I married this man. because even with a raging fever and dysentary-like symptoms - he's got my back.
and
2. I think Bella is milking this tooth fairy thing for every penny she can get.
Now, as anyone who knows her will tell you - Bella is a really sweet kid. She is kind, she is loyal and she's nothing if not funny as hell. She once told Sookie that "You should NEVER marry a man you've only known for 2 seconds!" This tidbit of wisdom came as they were watching "Enchanted" and Giselle fell out of a tree into Prince Edward's waiting arms. The prince shouts "Giselle! We shall be married in the morning!" And Bella was appalled! She also announced that my future sister-in-law should "put (my brother) in his place and show him who wears the pants in this relationship!" This bit of pre-marital advice came after we told her that her future aunt would not be on "Say Yes to the Dress!" because my brother didn't want her to do the show. Now - this story was just my way of getting Bella to drop it, mind you - but Bella was OUTRAGED. WHO in their right mind wouldn't want to be on "Say YES to the Dress!"? Understand that next to her father, Bella loves no one in the world as much as she loves and adores my brother. But even Bella's love and adoration has it's limits.
This wisdom-beyond-her-years is precisely why Bella's ardent belief in the tooth fairy is a little hard to believe as she is about to turn 9. Now, to be fair, PC and I are guilty of going a bit over-the-top with creating "the magic of childhood." The tooth fairy used to visit our house like she visits everyone else's house. She came, took the tooth and replaced it with a bill or 2. Until Bella confronted me about 2 years ago and said "Mom, I think the tooth-fairy is just you and Daddy." Looking back, the sane and mature thing to do would have been to say "Yup - you've got me. The gig is up." However, the sane and mature scenario didn't really enter my mind at that point. What was going through my mind was "MAYDAY! MAYDAY! WE"RE GOING DOWN!!!!!" I had visions of the Easter Bunny being blown up by a land mine as he hopped. happily through a green, grassy, pastel-egg filled field. I saw Santa and his sleigh being shot down from the snowy, Christmas sky, landing on our front lawn in a bloody tangle of antlers, sleigh bells and assorted Barbie Dream House pieces. So, I did what any slightly insane person in my place would do - I LIED. I lied like a rug. I lied through my teeth. I said "Well, I hope the tooth fairy doesn't hear you saying that - because when you stop believing - she stops coming."
The look of sheer terror in my 6-year old's eyes still haunts me.
"I believe, I believe!!!" She screamed. She wrote a letter to the tooth fairy telling her that "despite what you might have heard earlier today, I REALLY DO believe in you. And please keep leaving me money because if you don't I will never be able to go to Target and buy anything. My mom never gives me money." She taped her tooth to the letter and shoved the whole thing under her pillow. Then, she prayed. "Dear God, please tell the tooth fairy that I believe in her. Tell her that it was ____ (insert bad child's name here) in school who told me that his mom was the tooth fairy and that I didn't believe him for a minute. And please let me wake up with a mermaid tail. Amen." (Oh, yes - Bella prayed for about 3 or 4 years to wake up with a mermaid tail instead of legs.)
So, instead of just letting the whole matter drop - PC and I decided to go the distance. PC wrote back to Bella. He typed up a letter that explained that sometimes we have to believe in things we don't see and that the magic of fairies lives in our hearts - or some such crap. Then he printed it in a teeny-tiny pink font and cut it out with PINKING SHEARS - so it looked more "fairy-like". I took special gold glitter and sprinkled it from the window across the carpet, up the side of the bed, on the canopy and all over the pillow and her cheek. Needless to say - she went APE-SHIT when she woke up. Then, she went into school and told the child who spilled the beans that his mom and dad were, indeed, HIS tooth fairy as the REAL tooth fairy would NEVER pay a visit to such a thoughtless and ungrateful little boy.
PC and I are ALMOST done paying his therapy bills.
In all seriousness- I wonder what we've created by enhancing these already magical and mystical childhood characters. Have we created magical and amazing memories that she will revel in re-creating for her children and grandchildren one day? Or - have we set her up for HUGE disappointment once she realizes that good old mom and dad are compulsive liars? Maybe I really should have told her the truth about the tooth fairy at 6. I would wager that a child psychologist would have told me to be honest with her. But I just couldn't do it. Because once the tooth fairy gig is up - it's just a matter of time before they start questioning EVERYTHING. And I wasn't ready to say goodbye to Santa and the Easter Bunny. And I don't think Bella was either.
I've heard that the summer between 3rd and 4th grade is when many kids start questioning - really questioning - Santa Claus. I've also heard that 4th grade is when somebody swaggers into class and announces that there IS NO SANTA CLAUS - MY PARENTS TOLD ME. Now, while I'd bet that PC will want to swagger in to school and kick some 9-year old ass, I don't know how I'll feel. I know that there will be part of me that will want to hire a guy to break into the house on Dec. 24th decked out in a Santa suit and make a racket and wake everyone up as he leaves the house. I want her to stay little for as long as she can. I want her to believe in magic and in fairies and unicorns. I want her to believe that PC and I can solve every problem and protect her from all of the things that go bump in the night.
I had a sinking feeling this past Christmas that this might be the last Santa Christmas for Bella. And that made me extremely sad. I've only had 8 of them. And the first and second ones didn't really count, because she didn't know who the hell Santa was. So, in reality, I've only had 6 really good Santa Christmases. Is that all we get? I felt a HUGE pressure to make this Christmas as magical and special for her as I possibly could. She wanted those Zhu Zhu pets - the ones that no one could get this past Christmas. So I pulled strings and called in favors and had some really amazing people help me - and I managed to get 3 of them. And I thought that just maybe, scoring these impossible to find toys might, just might, buy me another year. But I don't think it's going to happen. On Christmas Eve, during mass, she turned to my brother and asked him, out of the blue, if there really was a Santa Claus. And of course, he told her that there was and that he believed in Santa. But I can tell - she's questioning it all. I know that this Christmas, while she won't admit that she has her doubts, that she'll have serious doubts. Just like I know that she knows that PC and I are the tooth fairy. And it makes me incredbly sad. While I love watching her grow into the amazing person she is becoming - I miss that little girl with the curls who believed everything I told her. The little girl who used to pray for a mermaid tail is now praying for a "nice B cup" - no joke. The little girl who used to beg me to read her Elmo books is now reading the biography of Amelia Arehart. The little girl who used to let me put bows in her angel-fine hair is now asking for a training bra from Justice.
I think I need to start praying...
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