Welcome to One Busy Momma! The Blog for Busy Moms by one Busy Mom.....

Welcome to my blog. One Busy Momma is my space to rant about my life and the things that happen in it. I have a crazy life - and instead of focusing on the crazy - I like to focus on the funny. Because if I focused on the craziness - well, I'd have been shipped off to an institution long, long ago. And while, I'll admit, there are some days when being institutionalized sounds PRETTY GOOD compared to making ANOTHER diorama at 1am - I'd rather be right where I am - in my messy house with my not so perfect kids making crooked dioramas in the middle of the night.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

My Prayer to God re: Sarah Palin

Dear Lord:

It's me - Busy Momma. Well butter your buns and call you a biscut - I'm back. Now look - You and I have to chat. We haven't exactly been on speaking terms since December 30th. You know why. You really screwed me over - in a big way. I'm working thru that, but to be honest...I need a few laughs.

Not that Bella and Jack don't provide daily laughs - they do. PC and I especially enjoyed Bella's demented, tearful rant the other night about how her face looks exactly like the face of an antelope. That was pretty funny. Demented - but funny. (And by the way - if you can wipe the idea that she has the face of an antelope and/or deer out of her mind - we'd appreciate it. Just augment her memory of the event - the way Hermione wipes all memories of her from her parents' minds by saying the spell "obliterate". )

That being said - I need bigger laughs. Now, I thought you were providing a little bit of sunshine when Donald Trump announced that he was considering a presidential run and immediately went ape-shit and started in on Barak's birth certificate. But, then all of my hopes were dashed when he announced that he was, in fact, not running.

Now, we have her highness, the Queen of the Gaffe, Sarah " If I only had a Brain" Palin "considering" a run for office. And now You and I have to have a "Come to Jesus'".

(Pardon the phrase)

Listen up, Big Guy - you OWE me this one - OK? I know it seems pretty ballsy of me to be telling you what you owe me. I get it. But, again - hate to bring this up - you did really screw me over back in December. I mean, I was going about my business and whap-o you changed the whole game on me amd mine. So the way I see it - you owe me one.

I want...no - I NEED her to run. I NEED to tune in to the evening news and laugh until I need Poise Pads as she says something OUTRAGEOUSLY stupid. I need her to continue to talk about American heroes like Paul Revere who - according to Palin "warned the BRITISH"... that we were gonna be keepin' our freedom and arms. Warned the British - that's the type of stuff that I need. I NEED to laugh hysterically as Sookie has mini strokes over the thought that this lobotomized idiot MIGHT be president.  I NEED to listen to Her Awesomeness RANT AND RAVE over this woman...I NEED it like I need oxygen right now.

So here is what I am asking: inspire her to announce her candidacy...but in a BRILLIANT fashion. Perhaps she could announce on Thanksgiving, while on a family vacation to Plymouth, MA. And maybe, just maybe she could have Piper and Tripp dressed as little Indians - complete with little tomahawks. And maybe, just maybe she could say something like "I announce my candidacy here, on Plymouth Rock, where Christopher Columbus landed long ago and discovered America and made life better for all Native Americans. "

Or

Maybe she could announce at Pearl Harbor, on Dec. 7th, 2011 and say something like: " I stand here before you on this day - a very special day in the history of America - the anniversary of the day that great Americans discovered the pearl and named this beautiful body of water after it to announce my candidacy."

Or

Let's say - for shits and giggles, inspire her to announce at sunrise over the Grand Canyon with something akin to: "I stand here before you, awe-struck by the ingenuity of my fellow Americans as we watch the sun rise over this big canyon that good, honest, hard working Americans - like you and me- dug out of these here rocks behind me to announce my candidacy."

1 comment:

  1. ***snicker snicker*** love it as usual. GO YOU!

    ReplyDelete