And the Oscar Goes to....

Hooray for HOLLYWOOD!!!!!!!! 

Well - hello my beautiful peeps! I hope you are all well and warm and enjoying this unexpected March snow day. Busy Momma and crew are chowing down on some homemade soup and binge watching The Big Bang Theory. As many of you know - last night was my FAVORITE night of the year - OSCAR night! When else can you sit on your couch, in your pajamas, eating cookie dough and ruthlessly judging the fashion choices of Hollywood's golden Gods and Goddesses? It is a EVENT in our house. We start by watching the Red Carpet Shows and we predict who will be wearing what. Now, let me clarify - by "we:" I mean Bella, Fifi and me. Even though Fifi lives 3 hours away - we USUALLY watch the entire pre-show together and pass judgement on everyone's wardrobe choices. This is a VERY exciting time for Fifi and me. It is the only time that we argue and fight and completely disagree with one another. And every now and then - we get a REALLY good insult or call the other one a fantastically mean name. But it is all ok - because it is ALL in the name of fashion. We've been doing this for years and years - Bella has just been invited to join the party, and she does add a very fresh, and very YOUNG perspective. And now - with the invention of Face-Time, our Oscar night ritual has only gotten better. 

Last night, however, my darling Fifi ABANDONED me. She made a dinner date with another. This is a betrayal equivalent to Brutus betraying Caesar, Romulus killing Remus, Fredo betraying Michael ("You broke my heart, Fredo.), Ross cheating on Rachel (WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!)... You get the idea. She left Bella and I on our own to watch the fashion parade. Hence - my moment by moment Facebook updates. And that was fun - but not the same. When you post on FB - you really need to think before you make a comment...to snarky? Will I offend anyone? I don't have to think with Fifi...we just put it all out there - unfilterted. Of course, we will completely debrief this evening while watching the Fashion Police - but it's not the same. But it will have to do. 

But my absolute new favorite Oscar night ritual has become PC's reaction to the fashion parade. Any of you who know PC in real life know a few things - he shops for all of his clothes in 2 stores - Joseph A. Banks. and Dick's Sporting Goods.  And that's it. He buys entire outfits off of the models in the store and I buy and select everything else that he wears. Why? Well - 2 reasons: First- he is partially color blind. He can't distinguish between certain colors and certain shades of color. So, he has trouble putting things together. But the main reason that I pretty much style him in Granimals-outfits is that he could care less. I mean, don't get me wrong - he likes to look good - but he doesn't care about who designed what, Armani, Calvin Klein, Prada...who cares? As long as it fits him and it looks good - it's all good. 

So, knowing this, one might think that he wouldn't watch the pre-show fashion parade. And he doesn't really watch the whole thing - he "sorta-watches". He claims that he can't help but "sorta-watch" because of the yelling and screaming and cat-fighting between Fifi, Bella and myself. He doesn't like to be left out, I guess. And the ritual that has started is that when he hears the yelling begin - he glances up from the book he is reading and makes a comment about what we are shouting about. And these comments are usually so hysterical and fashion-backwards - let's just say that you really need to have a stash of Depends on hand so you don't miss anything. And then, once he makes these cray comments, Bella, Fifi and I will fall over in fits of laughter. And then, he is quite pleased with himself and will start reading his book again.

So - without any further ado - here they are:

 The Top 5 PC-isms of the evening:

The first comment was about everyone's favorite girl-next-door - Jennifer Lawrence.

Yup- gorgeous, right? But he didn't comment on her gorgeous Dior Couture gown, or her flawless complexion or even on her cleavage. His comment was about her necklace.

See how it hangs down her back? Great - right? Totally fashion forward, young and fun and totally wonderful - right? PC's Comment?

"OH - wait - it is SUPPOSED TO look like that? Like it's strangling her? Oh - I thought it was just still messed up from that fall .God - why does she want it to look like her necklace is trying to kill her?."

 One of his better "deep thoughts" was in reference to Chris Helmsworth and Charlize Theron:

To be FAIR - I started the whole conversation about Chris Helmsworth earlier in the evening when he and his beautiful wife walked the red carpet:

Now - obviously, his wife is VERY pregnant. And last night,to ME,  it seemed like she JUST had a baby a little while ago. So, of course, I can't help but bring that up and then I said: "But, I guess if I was married to HIM, I'd be pregnant all the time too." And PC put his book down and said: "Seriously - I am RIGHT 

HERE!" And I said: "I know".

So when Chris and Charlize walked out to present some award - PC says: "WOW...imagine if those 2 had kids! Imagine what THOSE KIDS would look like? They'd be super-beautiful...like a baby god or goddess." And then a few minutes later, he says: "Seriously, for the good of the order those 2 should be FORCED to have kids together. It would be for the good of the species."

Unfortunately, Jack was in the room when he said this and this comment led to questions about: how on earth could you FORCE people to have babies?  And can that really happen?  And oh-by-the-way-how DO people make babies after all?

Oh yeah...happy Oscars!

Then, there was PC's comment about Will Smith's ensemble:

He's yelling this at the TV:

"Hey - Will Smith - the Playboy Mansion is down the street! You must have made a wrong turn. Your high-backed leather chair is waiting for you at Hef's."

My comment? "What's wrong with what he's wearing?"

Response: "An ASCOT? SERIOUSLY? Who wears an ascot? Does he think he is Thurston Howell the Third?"

Okey Dokey.....

When asked: "So - who was your best-dressed of the evening?" he had NO problem answering:

Anne Hathaway:

Me: "That's interesting. She is pretty much on everyone's Worst Dressed list. Why Anne Hathaway?"

PC: "Oh - really? I thought she looked great - she was dressed as the guitarist from KISS, right?"

And here's the funny part - he wasn't kidding.

He also had many, many questions about how on earth boobies didn't "pop" right out of the following dresses:

We had a little talk about the magic of double sided fashion tape. He was blown away.

And now, my favorite night of the year is over. I have to wait an entire year to do it all over again! Bummer...but I DO have Fashion Police with Fifi to look forward to. But before I go...what was YOUR favorite look last night? Leave me a comment...