Would YOU you accept his rose?

WARNING: This Post will be a total RANT about the show The Bachelor. Stop reading NOW if you are a fan! Seriously - stop reading.....

OK - so picture this - last night I am channel surfing around 9:30/10:00 and when I flip to ABC - the finale of The Bachelor is on. Now, normally, I would keep on flipping through the channels. I don't watch The Bachelor. I have actually NEVER watched an entire episode of this show. The intellectual, academic feminist inside of me just cringes every time I think about the premise of this show. A group of absolutely beautiful women present themselves as potential wives to a great looking guy over a series of dates and "mixers".  They completely marginalize themselves and open themselves up to complete humiliation and rejection ON A NATIONAL STAGE...all in the name of finding "true love".... in 2 months. I could go on and on and on...but you get the idea.

 I have actually FORBIDDEN my daughter from watching this show - but after the train wreck that I watched last night - I am reconsidering the ban on The Bachelor on Foxborough Drive.

WHAT? You might be asking.....BUSY MOMMA - WTF is wrong with you? WHY on EARTH would you subject an impressionable teenage girl on the cusp of womanhood to such drivel?

 Hang on...hear me out...

Last night, when I landed on ABC - I stopped and watched because there has been a lot of hype about this guy being a total jerk, making crazy, insulting comments and causing all sorts of "dramatic incidents". My husband had also mentioned that some of the late night shows have been having a field day with this guy - so I wanted to see if this guy lived up to the hype.

OK, girls, I will admit this much - he's not bad to look at. He's a serious hottie. But then again - they probably wouldn't cast a regular-looking guy and PC is already taken - so this guy must have seemed like a logical choice. A home run for the casting director, right?

Well, as it turns out - not so much. He's more of a foul ball than a home run. Looks good, flies high, then knocks a fan in the head and she falls to a grizzly death.  In a shark tank....

Now, I admit - I didn't see any episodes of the season, so my statements are based on what I saw on the "After the Final Rose" show. And - trust me - that was enough. Of course, the first thing the host does is bring out the poor jilted girl. She THOUGHT he was going to propose...his family loved her.....he never gave any indication that he WASN'T going to pick her...blah, blah, blah. So she comes out and talks about what an ass he is, how she is so HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY that things worked out this way and she's TOTALLY TOTALLY GREAT!!!!! Okey dokey lady, Personally, I'd be in my bed, under the covers with a life time supply of Ben and Jerry's,  a spoon and a crate of tissues. What this gal went through is, in my mind, the WORST POSSIBLE FORM OF PUBLIC HUMILIATION since poor Hester Prynne  was forced to wear that scarlet A across her chest. If I were in HER position, I'd be looking into the witness protection program and/or plastic surgery. For real... But no - apparently this lady - who is absolutely beautiful - is just SO THRILLED that  he didn't select her because AFTER realizing "what kind of man" this DB was she didn't want him to be the father of her children. 

Interesting..... because had things gone in her favor.......??? Her poor, imaginary children!

So - she makes a graceful exit and after the next break - out comes Mr. Wonderful - Juan Pablo. And as the host interviews him, it becomes increasingly clear that these 2 really don't like one another - like they despise one another. They show a clip of this guy with a beautiful engagement ring in his hand, telling his "lucky lady" that he's just not sure about her. Not sure if he really wants to marry her - but he sure does LIKE her A LOT and "doesn't want to lose her". SERIOUSLY....This guy looked exactly like my husband looks when he is in the diner on Sunday morning trying to decide between ordering breakfast or lunch? He KIND OF feels like a Ruben sandwich......... BUT he also could go for an omelette with a side of pancakes. Hmmmm - what to do? 

 So - to cut the tension - the LUCKY girl he picked comes out. Again - a beautiful woman. (Shocker!) And, the host asks her - as one would expect - "So - ummm, how do you feel about the outcome of the show?" and this beautiful woman who is a pediatric NURSE so she MUST have a brain cell or two that is able to fire says: "GREAT! I am SOOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY! I MEAN LIKE SOOOO HAPPY!"

Oh My God

It gets worse...then the host embarks down the slippery love slope - the "Well Juan Pablo - how do YOU feel? Do you LOVE her?" And.....................................

You guessed it....NOPE! Now he didn't actually SAY "NO" - he said NOTHING AT ALL! And then when he got booed - he seemed genuinely SHOCKED. And played the "well - now that the show is over we are going to go back to our private lives" card. WHAT!!!??? The BEST part of the whole show was when the host asked him: "OK - you KNEW that this show was going to be on TELEVISION, right?" 

This poor stupid girl is being HUMILIATED on NATIONAL TELEVISION AGAIN - and is sitting there with a smile plastered on her face desperately trying to convince HERSELF that she is just SO happy. No one in the audience was buying it. A former bachelor and his wife were in the audience - I think they were one of the only couples that actually found love - and you could just tell that this former Bachelor was disgusted. He was literally squirming in his seat and said; "I hate to burst your bubble - but AFTER the show you don't go back to a normal private life. You just don't" and the WIFE who was also clearly disgusted said: "You Don't bite the hand that feeds you" after Juan Pablo insulted the host. 

This guy was SO arrogant, SO awful and felt SO entitled that I truly think I need to rethink my Bachelor ban. I think our daughters SHOULD watch this. Just like I think every American teenager should watch "Schindler's List" in school. It's painful and gut wrenching to watch - but watching changes you - forever. If our girls can watch this as literal "flies on the wall" and then have open and honest conversations with us - their mothers - PERHAPS they would be able to recognize their inherent value and worth and never, ever fall for a guy like Juan Pablo. Perhaps, just perhaps, this generation that we are raising - a generation obsessed with fame and putting it all "out there" on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and Snapchat - will think twice about the PRICE of putting it "all" out there. Maybe watching other young women open themselves up to such public heartbreak and humiliation will convince our daughters that PRIVACY is, indeed, a valuable commodity. MORE valuable perhaps than fame and "easy" money. I think we can use these episodes to jump start some GREAT conversations about self esteem, loving yourself and never, EVER allowing yourself to be marginalized in your search for "love".