It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.......

Well hey there everybody! How was your summer? Busy Momma and Crew had a terrific summer!

Jack played baseball at Cal Sr.'s field at Iron Birds stadium - twice! 

We celebrated PC's 41st birthday....

and our 14th wedding anniversary!

We went to New York and did some sightseeing on our way to....

Cape Cod!

I can't believe that TODAY is the very LAST day of our summer break. Bella just got her back-to-school haircut, Jack will go tomorrow. We met Jack's fourth grade teacher last night and deposited all of his school supplies in his desk. Bella's brand-new backpack is sitting at the door packed with her "locker essentials" - wallpaper, mirror, picture frames, chandelier...nary a pen or pencil in sight.  (I will load the pencil case tomorrow!) Bella's room looks like a tornado hit her closet as there are several different outfits hanging awaiting approval for the official "1st day of school" outfit club. Very, very stressful decision to be sure. Jack is seriously aggravated that I am "forcing" him to wear a polo shirt on the first day. He wants to wear soccer shorts and a tee shirt. He says that by the end of the first week his teacher will know that he NEVER wears "fancy" stuff with "buttons" and she will know that I TOTALLY forced him to dress like a "dork" on the first day. And then "What will she THINK of you, mom?"

 I told him that I'd take my chances. 

 I know that I say this every single year - but WHERE did the summer go? How did we go from this:

to this?

Busy Momma is bumming! Don't get me wrong - like any teaching geek - I LOVE LOVE LOVE loading pencil cases with brand new crayons and freshly sharpened pencils. I LOVE the promise that a new school year brings.I even love the back-to-school shopping.  I don't love the chaos of restarting the routine - the running to soccer practices, taekwon-do schedules, drama club pick-up, art club pick-ups, scout meetings and functions. But that's part of the journey, isn't it? As much as I am DREADING waking up my little angels Monday morning at 6:30 am after they have been sleeping until 10 am and later all summer...I am looking forward to seeing what fourth and seventh grade have in store for us. I know that our fall will be extremely exciting...my darling brother and sister-in-law are expecting their first child on THANKSGIVING! And we are awaiting her arrival with baited breath over here. We have an entire corner of my bedroom dedicated to little "gifties" for "Baby Nu-Nu" as we have taken to calling her. Jack and Bella have a list of names that they are desperately hoping are in the running. (My brother sadly informed me that ,in fact, not ONE of their chosen names is in the running. I cannot imagine why "Sacajawea" didn't make the final cut. Bella will be devastated.) So, needless to say, we are entering a very exciting and blessed phase of our lives. 

As the inevitable chaos of the next few weeks enters all of our lives - here is my wish for you:

 May all of the teachers you encounter next week be well rested, rejuvenated and excited to begin a new year. 

May your pencils  stay sharp and  your crayons not break.

 May no one hassle your baby on the bus.

May no one have a cooler back-to-school outfit than your tweenage daughter. 

(Except for mine - sorry Peeps.)

 May no one in your household lose their lunchbox or book bag all year.

May your child's teachers all have a sense of humor.

May your child's teachers all have children of their own and an understanding of what a pain-in-the-ass out of school projects really are - and not assign any this year.

May there be no bake sales for you to worry about.

And above all - May you find the time to enjoy your kids,  laugh with them and most of all appreciate every minute you have with them! 

OK - I think that covers every potential crisis. Have a GREAT back-to-school week my Peeps and remember - when all else fails:

An Open Letter to the Guy at the Apple Genius Bar

Hey Peeps! How goes it? I'm going to cut right to the chase tonight - Busy Momma is frustrated! I am experiencing iProblems...as in iPhone troubles. My phone, which I also use as my iPod is acting all cray-cray. SO cray-cray, in fact, that I drove all the way to the Apple Store today to visit something called the "Genius Bar". Understand - while I am not the technical genius..and by "genius" I mean "geek"... that PC is - I am not exactly a technophobe. I have a laptop, not one, but 2 iPads, 2 Facebook accounts, an Instagram account, 2 email accounts, a Twitter account, A BLOG for goodness sakes.....enough said. I know how to use me some technology! However, I have never had a problem with any of my Apple products, therefore, I have never had to visit the "Genius" bar at an Apple store. The closest Apple store is about 40 minutes away, and those of you who know me know my mantra:" Ain't NOBODY got time for THAT". So, I generally try to take care of any Apple issues on my own. And by "on my own" I mean I throw the device at PC and he fixes it. So, you can imagine my horror, when my husband looked at me and said: "Yeah - that phone is all kinds of effed up. You need a new one."

WHAT???????

I CAN'T just "get a new one"! First of all - this is my work phone. Hence, I don't own it - they do. And trying to get a new phone when you are not eligible for an upgrade is just an impossible situation. I'd have better luck having my company buy me a new kidney or a baby on the black market than a new phone! No, no, no - this just won't do. PC saying "I can't figure it out" is akin to him speaking to me in some kind of geeky alien language. It just doesn't compute! SO, I called my tech support and they told me to head into an Apple store and have a "technician" look at it. So, I put on my big girl panties, drove to the mall in Towson and visited the "Genius Bar". (I also visited the Sephora store and picked up a mascara called "Better than Sex" by Too Faced...but I digress.) What happened there is detailed in the following open letter to the guy that "helped" me today.

Dear Guy Who Helped Me at the Genius Bar Today:

I am writing to thank you for talking to me about my phone this afternoon. Do you remember me? I am the lady who came in and said: "Hi, um can you help me with my phone? My husband says it's all kinds of effed up. And that's a direct quote." No? Hmmm - ok, here's another way you might remember me - I was the one of the only women in the store without a facial piercing or tatoo .Remember me now? No, no - not Marion, the old lady who walked up to you and told you that she "really didn't like her apples". Remember her? She was about 85 years old. That wasn't me. I was the one who turned bright red and started sweating profusely as we spoke. I was having a hot flash and said - "Oh, don't mind the sweating. I'm experiencing my own personal summer.". The horrified look on your face told me that you wouldn't soon forget THAT, so I know that you now remember me! 

 Your response of "Are you here to check-in?" did kind of confuse me. My extremely clever come back: "I am not staying the night - I just need someone to take a peek at my phone" didn't amuse you Sorry, but you see, I didn't realize that one needed an actual appointment to confirm that her phone was indeed: "all kinds of effed up". I will admit that I was a bit "rage-y" when you explained that the next available appointment was in 90-minutes.  But, again, I was mid-hot flash and craving chocolate. So, my exclamation of: "WHAAAAAT???" was a bit shrieky, as you said, but you didn't really need to point that out. Haven't you ever heard the phrase: "The Customer is ALWAYS Right"? Well, if not, I'm here to introduce you to that little gem of customer service wisdom. 

I still insist that things between us could have remained  neutral and somewhat professional and friendly had you not stopped helping me as I was explaining that my speaker is not working on my phone and all of my fun ringtones cannot be heard. In NORMAL retail establishments, there is an unwritten code of conduct. And that code CLEARLY states that a sales person remains with the customer he is working with until their issue is resolved. I was not aware that in the APPLE store, male sales guys only have to stay with a 40-something, peri-menopausal, non-tatooed, woman with nary a facial piercing just until a 20-something hipster in a $95.00 tank top walks past with both arms tatted up from wrist to armpit, multiple facial piercings, NO BOOBS and ironic glasses that ladies of a certain generation would never be caught DEAD in walks past. Apparently, when THAT happens in an Apple store - all bets are off. Now, I do understand that a young man has certain needs and urges that need to be satisfied. I was young once. But here is the thing, I sincerely believe that if you actually showered with soap and water instead of Axe body spray, you might have had a better shot with her. AND my response of : "OUCH...well - that must have burned, huh?" was pretty funny when you think about it now - wasn't it? You didn't need to get all snarky and start talking to me VERY SLOWLY, as if to imply that I am somehow mentally impaired. Yes, I did have only one of my eyes made up. But NOT because, as you cleverly inquired, because I FORGOT to do the other one. I stopped off to buy mascara on my way to the Apple store you nimrod. And they did a before and after thingy with the "Better than Sex" mascara that I wanted to try out. Duh. 

I never would have started shouting at you had you not made the crack about my Abercrombie and Fitch bag to your geeky coworker as I was walking away. I mean, I was CLEARLY still within earshot. I am a mother of a tweenager- I hear EVERYTHING you little geeky weasel. ESPECIALLY snarky things that are said under your breath as I turn to walk away. For someone who wears a name tag that identifies him as a "genius" you are none to smart. And to answer your inquiry - YES, Abercrombie does, indeed, carry items of clothing that I can fit into. They sell flip flops and socks,  you dumb ass. Maybe if you weren't working so very hard on expanding those ridiculous holes in your ears, you might have been able to learn some manners and business acumen. I wasn't aware that constantly having to change your earrings so that your earlobes become gaping holes of nothingness that mirror the black hole where your brain is supposed to reside takes so very much cognitive energy.  Telling me that you can't even TOUCH my phone until I back it up on the iCloud AFTER I EXPLICITLY tell you that I am unable to do just that because the god damned phone won't connect to WiFi would have made any reasonable, intelligent, hot-flash experiencing woman go ape-shit all over your scrawny, grey-white ass. (Get outside and get some sun you little mole - haven't you ever heard of rickets?)

Anyway - I sincerely hope that you do recover from our little spat today. I don't think EVERYONE saw you crying. I mean it is a very big mall. In any case, I hope you learned a few things:. 

First and foremost - the customer is ALWAYS ALWAYS right. Even when they are clearly wrong. Duh. 

Next - do not ever - and I mean EVER screw with a woman having a hot flash. The results could very well be devastating for both of you. 

Next - Axe body spray does not hide that level of body odor. It just covers it up so that people smell your stink AND realize that you are indeed too lazy to shower. 

And finally - "old bitches" can run like the freaking wind because we all train for 5Ks or half marathons to deny, I mean celebrate the fact that we are getting older. SO by the time your little mall cop arrives, we can be across the street, sipping a Starbucks at Athleta buying ourselves overpriced mom tankinis that make us look appropriately hip for our age while stylishly hiding our spider veins and thunder thighs. 

Who's the bitch now, bitch?

My Life in Paw Prints

Hi Peeps! So Busy Momma is trying something new. I am working on a memoir of my life - told in the context of the pets that my family and I have had the privilege to love. So, I am trying to write one chapter draft at a time and am serializing the chapters on the blog.  I'd love your feedback! 

Have you ever gone to a training class where the overly enthusiastic and obnoxiously energetic trainer begins the class by asking you to write down a list of words that "describe the different roles you play in life"? I'm sure many of you have engaged in this exercise. Many of you have probably played this game several times and written the same list that I always write. It goes something like this:

• mother
• wife
• daughter
• sister
• friend
• granddaughter
• teacher
• writer
• laundry lady, cook, cleaning lady, chauffeur,  cupcake baker, slave, midnight Science project fixer-upper, mean homework checker...and on and on and on. 

What is interesting about my list - other than the end of the list being a bit passive aggressive - is that I have never EVER written "pet lover" or "animal lover" or "animal rescue advocate" on my list. And I am all of those things. Yet, when I quickly list the "roles" I play or the "hats"I wear - animal lover never makes the cut. And for the life of me I can't figure out why.When I really sat down to think about it, I reasoned that I don't immediately identify myself as an "animal person" because I came to my love of all things furry rather late in life. I mean., I never even had a real pet until I was an adult.( Well- that is not exactly true.We did grow up with a few fish). And as I began to really think about my life and reflect on the animals in my life, I came to a startling realization. I can associate almost every major life event with a pet that I had at the time. The happiest and, in turn, saddest times in my life have been directly affected by the animal I was living with at the time. And as I began  reflecting on these stories, I realized that I have been unbelievably blessed by the presence of each of  these furry, fuzzy, and scaled creatures. So blessed, in fact, that I decided to write about them.

In the Beginning....

So...my mother is not exactly what you'd call an animal "lover". She is more of an animal "phobic" kind of gal. And I can't really blame her for that. When she was a little girl she had what one might call a slight "mishap" with a charging bull in a field of flowers. One might also call the experience a perfect example of why one can never completely trust one's husband with one's curious toddler. Whatever you chose to call it - let's just say that this bull was no Ferdinand. To hear my mom tell the story- this bull was the Cujo of bulls. Seriously. Apparently, when my grandparents were visiting the homeland, and showing off my lovely little toddler of a mother to the folks back home, my grandfather made a HUGE mistake. He decided to take my mom out for an early morning walk - all by himself. Sounds great - right? Let the wife sleep in, earn some brownie points and spend some quality time with the kiddo. And I am SURE that's exactly what he had in mind. Unfortunately, that's not quite how it turned out. Somehow, my grandfather managed to get distracted....in a rural area...with no one and nothing around...but - no judgement here. Anywho...my little mom manages to crawl into a fenced- in field - home of Cujo the bull. And guess what? He did what bulls do - he charged. RIGHT AT HER!!!! And this event has RUINED this woman. Seriously RUINED her for life. My poor mother is TERRIFIED of ANYTHING - and I do mean ANYTHING on 4 legs. The following images - should they materialize and actually approach my mother -would cause the woman to scream like her hair was on fire and violently pull her legs and all exposed body parts away....

WARNING - the following images have been known to cause my mother extreme stress and horrific nightmares. They are NOT for the faint of heart.

Um-so no big surprise - there were almost NO pets in our household growing up. At least nothing with four legs. I do, however, recall a few fish. Our first fish experience is actually one of my earliest memories. 

 I remember my dad taking us to a pet store in the mall and buying us our very first pet - a guppy. My brother and I were SO excited. I mean REALLY excited. Like crazy, over-the-moon excited for a guppy that cost a penny.  It was pathetic. We had been begging and pleading for a pet and FINALLY, FINALLY my dad gave in. I can't imagine why - but I imagine we probably badgered the poor man until he was half out of his mind. So, he bit the bullet and agreed to get us a "pet". Looking back - I can see that the poor guy was in an impossible spot. Anger his wife or disappoint his terribly whiny children. And as any parent can tell you - an angry spouse is a small price to pay to get the kids to shut the f@#k up for an afternoon. So, home we went with a big, watery plastic bag full of happiness. As I recall - Mom was less than pleased.So not-pleased, in fact, that she made us keep our little guppy on a small table in the front foyer of our house. And that was just fine with us because we FINALLY had a pet. FINALLY we were normal. Or so we thought....

Imagine our delight the next morning when we ran down the stairs to check on our beloved guppy and discovered that a miracle had occurred. Oh yes, during the night, our guppy spawned what looked like a thousand little guppies! Well, you can imagine the screaming that ensued. My brother and I were screaming with sheer and utter delight. I mean who got lucky like that? We went from 0 pets to THOUSANDS of them in a 12-hour period! The screaming, predictably, attracted my parents' attention. When my mother saw the miracle that had occurred, she too began to scream. Oddly, her screaming did NOT sound like screams of joy. Nope, her screams sounded quite different than ours, and were also directed at my dad. 

Poor Sucker.

After the screaming died down, my brother and I watched in awe as our guppy continued to give birth to more teeny, tiny guppy babies. They were so cute. We began naming each and every one. It was like standing at the window of the nursery in the hospital and looking at all of the adorable babies and realizing that they were ALL YOURS!!!!  

And then, it happened.

 Can you recall the exact moment when your innocence was lost? Perhaps it was when you found all of the Christmas presents wrapped up in the attic, or when you caught your mom slipping tooth fairy money under your pillow. Well, my brother and I lost our innocence together, that very morning. You see, after our guppy finished birthing her babies, she became rather hungry. RAVENOUS, in fact. And, quite to our horror, our beloved guppy, the guppy we had loved for all of 13 hours, began eating her babies. First one, then another and another and another. It was like something out of a Stephen King movie. She just ate and ate and ate. It was carnage. I think one of us started screaming and I remember my parents running in. The next few moments are a blur in my memory. I remember a lot of "Jesus Christ"-ing. And someone said "Well isn't this a lovely picture you've painted for the children here" and someone else might have said: "I'm not a GD fish gynecologist! I didn't know the stupid thing was pregnant!"

Let's just say - it was an ugly, ugly scene. 

Somehow, even though he wasn't a fish gyno, my dad did know enough about guppies to separate the mommy guppy from her babies. So, the carnage was over...or so we thought. 

Now, the only explanation I have for what happened next is PTSD. Yep - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. I believe that this horrific scene caused my mother, my beloved mother who would normally not hurt a fly...because she is scared of them...well, to this day I believe it caused her to snap. I think it triggered a Post Traumatic Stress reaction in her. I think watching the carnage - witnessing the cannibal guppy actually EAT HER YOUNG - made her travel back in time. I think that instead of standing in front of our $1.99 fish bowl at that moment, my mother THOUGHT she was standing in that beautiful field of flowers being charged by Cujo the bull. She was that helpless little 3-year old girl staring death right in the snout. Or, in this case,  in the gills. Anyway - the next thing we knew my mother had the little fish bowl in her hands and walked into the backyard. She walked right out onto the patio and stopped when she got to the little rock garden we had. And then, in an act that will be burned into my memory for the rest of my days, my mother DUMPED THE BOWL! Our guppy! Our beloved cannibal guppy! Our guppy who had no name because we couldn't agree on a name was dumped unceremoniously into the rock garden! Our guppy - with her belly full of her delicious guppy babies - was dead. With one dump of the bowl our mother crushed our dreams of actually owning a pet. A cannibal pet at that! We could have been the COOLEST kids in school. We could have had kids come over and put a few babies in the bowl with the mommy and they could have watched Darwinism in action.

We could have charged admission.

But NO! Our mother, killer of guppies was also a killer of dreams. There would be NO side show shenanigans at our house. I don't really remember what happened to the thousands of guppy babies that made it through the carnage. Maybe I've blocked it out of my memory. Or maybe my mom dumped them the next day while we were at school. I really don't know. All I know for sure is that my first experience as a pet owner only lasted for about 13 hours and it wasn't pretty. It is amazing that we ever got another pet - but somehow we did. And amazingly - it was another fish. 

Summer Reading 2013 Edition!

Hello my Peeps! Who is ready for Summer? Busy Momma and crew are MORE than ready! We have 9 more days of school and then WOOT WOOT! School's out, summer is here and the livin' is easy.....

And you know me - I love nothing more than laying on my beach chair and getting lost in a good book. And I intend to do that - A LOT this summer. I have downloaded waaay too many books already for my summer reading pleasure - and it seems like every day I see a review of one more that I just HAVE to read before Labor Day! So - with that being said - here she is:

Busy Momma's Summer Reading List - 2013 Edition.

If you read NOTHING ELSE this summer - you MUST, MUST, MUST read Amor Towles completely amazing book Rules of Civility. This was my absolute favorite book of the year so far. It is kind of Great Gatsby-esque in its setting - think greed, excess and gilt. But the characters are very different than Jay Gatsby and crew. It is the story of 2 girls who meet a man who intrigues them both...and the inevitable chaos that ensues. It makes you really think about responsibility, duty and loyalty - and the implications of one's behavior and choices.The plot moves quickly, the characters are beautifully written and it is the type of story that leaves you thinking - really thinking about the decisions made and if they were the right decisions. Again - a MUST read. 

OK, OK - I know that some people do not like Dan Brown. I, however, am not one of those people! Inferno is sitting on my Kindle, waiting to be read. I loved all of Brown's earlier works - The DaVinci Code;  Angels and Demons; and The Lost Symbol.  I have very high hopes for Inferno.  

I like easy, light reading over the summer. If it lives up to its predecessors, this one promises to be a page turner and a fantastic ride! 

Now - those of you who read my blog faithfully - all 4 of you - might recognize Seating Arrangements by Maggie Shipstead as one of lAST Year's books. I am NOTHING if not ambitious with my summer reading lists. I did NOT get to this one last summer, and since it takes place in my favorite summer destination - Cape Cod - I decided to wait until THIS summer to read it! So, as my children are diving into Gull Pond or boogie boarding themselves to exhaustion at Marconi Beach, I will be digging into what promises to be a GREAT read. This is the story of a very WASPY family throwing a Cape Cod wedding for their daughter. The plot promises to revolve around horrible behavior, seduction, family secrets, betrayal, and adultery. What else do you need in a summer read? 

There is NOTHING I like better than a multi-generational tale that spans decades and takes place on many continents. That is why I am really excited that my book club: The Dewey Decimal Divas - chose Khaled Hosseini's newest tome: And the Mountains Echoed as our next pick. If you had the pleasure of reading The Kite Runner or A Thousand Splendid Suns, you know that Hosseini is a master at his craft. He can tell a story like no other. His newest work explores family - how we love, hurt, betray, take care of and nurture one another. I've learned to read his books with a few tissues nearby. Consider yourself warned....

I LOVED this book! Yes - I already read it, and it is WONDERFUL! The Burgess Boys by Elizabeth Strout tells the story of one very dysfunctional family. Their lives are marked very early on by a tragedy that affects them all very differently and shapes the course of their lives. The story revolves around three siblings who have no choice but to come together when a member of the next generation of Burgess kids gets himself in a HEAP of trouble. This story will have you thinking about your own family, how, when the chips are down - all we've really got is one another - and forgiveness. I don't want to say too much and give the big plot  twist away - so all I will say is - if you like surprise endings - you'll like this one. 

The next few picks intrigue me. I'm not making any promises - but I decided to take my chances on them! The Woman Upstairs  by Claire Messud is the story of a woman who lives a life that she doesn't particularly want or love. She is a school teacher in Cambridge, Mass. and by all accounts, is living a life without passion. She compromised her dreams long ago and has become - the woman upstairs - a nobody, living on the fringes of other people's lives. Until she meets a glamorous and mysterious family and becomes attached to their young daughter, who also happens to be her student. Her interactions with each member of the family promise to change her and reawaken a passion within her. Looking forward to this one. 

This one has intrigued me for some time. In The Interestings by Meg Wolitzer, we meet a group of friends who have been together since their teen years. They all meet a a summer camp for the arts and the book follows the course of their lives as some become shining starts and others become - well - not so shiny. It looks like it is a story of success, failure and something in-between - and how we, as adults handle the fact that some of the dreams we had for ourselves and our futures didn't and will not ever come true. 

I am on the fence about this one because it looks kind of weird. I think I am going to download a SAMPLE on the old Kindle before I commit. Life After Life  by Kate Atkinson explores what would happen if we are born again and again and again - living your life over and over again until you got it right. Interesting - n'est pas? It has gotten STELLAR reviews and looks like it could be fantastic. I'm going to give it a try. 

I am NOT a big fan of non-fiction or memoirs. That being said - I am going to give Wild by Cheryl Strayed a try. I am trying this one because I like the concept - the author sets off on a hike of over 1100 miles ALL ALONE, without previous hiking experience. She does this because she is so broken by her circumstances that she needs to do something big, something amazing, to start her healing process. I like books about broken people picking up their pieces and parts and putting themselves back together again. So, I am going to try this one out. 

In the category of good books I read this year - we find Jess Walter's Beautiful Ruins. This one is a great beach read. It is the story of long lost love, misunderstanding and ultimate redemption. It spans decades and takes place between a seaside village in Italy and the Hollywood of Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. I think it's out in paperback - so if you find it, throw it in the pool bag and enjoy getting lost in this gem of a story. 

If you're looking for a spooky mystery that is full of magic and spine chilling events - you've found your book! The Night Circus is a GREAT story about a troupe of travelling performers who entertain in a circus...that only performs at night. Every character is cloaked in mystery and intrigue. You'll find yourself staying up late to read on and see how it all turns out at the end....and I promise - you WON'T be disappointed! 

If you're looking for a spectacularly fun and funny read - here's your book! Where'd You Go, Bernadette? is a joy. If you've ever had your kid in private school and looked around at the pick up line and said to yourself: "What the HELL am I doing here with these people?"  you will love Bernadette. The title character is a brilliant architect who mysteriously gave up what promised to be an absolutely white hot career to be a wife and mother in suburban Seattle. I promise - you will laugh while she fights to maintain some shred of her true, authentic, off beat self in the land of Microsoft Stepford wives who are uber concerned with the private and oh so snobby middle and high schools their children are destined to attend.  I laughed out loud several times as I read the book. When Bernadette disappears - you will wonder, along with her family where the heck she went! What happened to her? How does a housewife in Seattle suddenly disappear of the face of the earth? And what will it take for her to come back?

Have a newly minted tween or teenager on your hands? Negotiating some rocky terrain? Asking yourself how different IS it being a teenager today than it was when YOU were reading Tiger Beat, crushing on Ricky Schroeder, Jason Bateman and listening to the Thriller album on your record player? OK - if you know what a record player IS because you had one before you got a boom box with a tape deck in it - you REALLY need to read this book. Because, even though many of us were tween and teenagers a mere 25 years ago...and I'm being generous there - MUCH has changed. Today's tweens and teens live in a very different world. A world that we didn't have to negotiate when we were growing up. We didn't have social media and all of the joys and dangers that come with it. We didn't have the internet - I didn't even have a COMPUTER in my home until I got my second professional job. When I was a teenager - social media was what was written on the bathroom stall doors in the River Edge diner! Our kids have so much to contend with - yet they are still children. Children who are thrust into a VERY grown-up world, exposed to some very grown-up concepts while they are still looking at the world through the eyes of a child and with a mind that is not fully developed. A very good friend of mine mentioned that this was her and her sister's GUIDEBOOK as their kids navigated their teen years - and they turned out ok. So I picked it up. It is GREAT. It talks about how teenagers develop - how their minds develop and how they think. It gives great strategies and suggestions for talking to your teens, getting them to WANT to talk to you and to trust you. The author is a parent and therapist and he has definitely walked the walk. The book deals with every situation under the sun - many of which I hope we NEVER have to deal with. It is definitely worth a read - especially if you're looking at a creature that LOOKS like the kid you've been raising yet behaves like a complete and total stranger and FORBIDS you from doing ANYTHING NORMAL like kissing her goodbye at the bus stop or singing in the car if anyone who might be "cool" is within earshot or wearing anything that might "totally humiliate" them. Like any or all of your clothing - then this book is for you.

Other Reader's Picks:

I am looking forward to reading Vanessa Diffenbaugh's The Language of Flowers. This one was HIGHLY recommended by a pal. This story revolves around  a former foster care kid who has had it rough. Flowers are her only way of connecting - truly connecting - with others. Anytime a review says; "but an encounter with a mysterious stranger forces her to question what's been missing in her life." I'm all in! 

This one looks like a winner! My friend Denise highly recommends BirdSong by Sebastian Faulks. Denise and I have very similar taste when it comes to books - so I am really looking forward to this one. Again - one of those sweeping novels that takes us from the first World War up to present day! Denise says that it is "so sad and so tragic but oh so good!"  

This is QUITE an ambitious list for what - a 12 week span of time? But that's what is SO great about books - they're not going anywhere. I'm sure I won't get to all of these - but I will get to SOME. Let me know if YOU get to any of them and what you think! I love to get good reading suggestions. 

Happy Summer Reading everyone!!!!!!!

I Went to Grad School for THIS????

Hi My Peeps! How is everybody doing? Hanging in there? It's a CRAZY time of year, isn't it? Busy Momma and crew are on the run 4 nights a week - and weekends are getting pretty busy as well. This Momma is looking forward to the end of the school year, the end of baseball season and the beginning of the summer. Summer can't come fast enough for me! I love the lazy pace of the summer. No lunches to make;  no alarm clocks for the kids; NO HOMEWORK TO CHECK - just lazy days at the pool. Bring it on!Or not.....

Yes - that is not a misprint. I am a bit concerned about how my 2 little people will weather the coming summer. You see - they will be spending the majority of the summer together. Except for a few weeks of camp - I try not to over schedule them. They like having nothing to do and long days of playing ahead of them. So, I let them do exactly that all summer long. And thus far - it has worked out quite well. But tonight I walked in on a conversation that made me take a step back and wonder:

  Have I made a HUGE mistake this year? Should I have scheduled them in separate camps for the entire summer and given them a break from one another? 

I should have known when I heard the hand slamming on the table that there was going to be BIG trouble. BIG trouble. Here is the conversation I walked into:

Her: (Red faced and completely freaking out) How dare you say that. She would be amazing at WHATEVER she tried, whatever she wanted to do!
Him: (Looking at her like she has 3 heads) She wouldn't try it. No one would try it! AND she wouldn't try it EVER because she would know that she would HATE it.
Her: She would try it because she is not afraid of ANYTHING and she would rock at it. How DARE you say she'd be a bad one.
Him: She'd be a TERRIBLE, Terrible one. She'd be HORRIBLE and she would HATE IT! And we should call her right now at work and she would tell you that you are CRAZY and that I am RIGHT!!!!
Her: (Reaching for her phone) Fine, I will call her right now and we will just SEE who is right here and who is WRONG.

Me: (The voice of reason) OK, OK - put the phone down. What on earth are you guys fighting about? Who are you calling?
Her: Aunt _____ (I am keeping the name a secret to protect the innocent.)
Voice of Reason: Oh no you are not. First of all, Aunt ___ is at work. We do not call people at work during the day to settle a dispute! Second of all - what is going on????
Him: She is COMPLETELY FREAKING out over NOTHING Mom - NOTHING!
Her:  How DARE you say this is about NOTHING. How DARE you!!!! MOM - he said that Aunt ____ would make a TERRIBLE .............



Wait for it...wait for it..... What word will that sentence end with? What could cause such consternation, righteous indignation, SCREAMING, yelling and indeed - almost cause these 2 people to come to fisticuffs???

Peeps - I shit you not. This screaming match was entirely about whether Aunt ____ would make a good FROG. 

(BTW - she would be a terrible frog. My boy is 100% correct. She would hate being a frog SO much that if she was in the game Frogger she'd dive into on- coming traffic to end her days of bug-eating misery.)

So - here are my big concerns:
1. WHO fights about this stuff? Seriously - who?

2. HOW on EARTH did this conversation even begin?

3. Do I even want to KNOW how this conversation began? (and now that I DO know how it began - I can answer this question with a RESOUNDING NO!)

4. If this is what they are arguing about NOW...what on EARTH will they be arguing about in the middle of July when they are sick of looking at one another???????????

Seriously my Peeps - WTF? What is wrong with my kids? Who fights over whether or not someone would make a good frog? What am I in for this summer?

Is it too late to enroll them in sleep away camp...for the entire summer? It probably is. Besides - with my luck - they'd probably come home with a more in-depth understanding of the world of amphibians and have more ammunition to prove their respective points and pick up this argument exactly where they left off.

God help me...only 14 days of school left.....

Birthday PALOOZA!!!!!! Or Not....

Hey there my Peeps! How is everyone today? Spring has FINALLY finally sprung here on the East Coast- hope everyone is enjoying it.We are enjoying what I like to call BIRTHDAY PALOOZA over here in Busy Momma land. Jack turned 9 yesterday - holy cow! My baby is 9!!! And Bella - my beautiful, bouncing baby girl will be 12 on Friday. How on earth did THAT happen? 12?!?!?!? So this is the time of year that drives this Busy Momma into overdrive because it is birthday party season.

You see - while Busy Momma doesn't bake elaborate cakes - Busy Momma DOES like to plan ridiculously elaborate birthday parties. And by ridiculous - I mean over-the-top, insanely detailed parties. PC just LOVES this time of year. He gets roped into doing all sorts of crazy stuff that normally he would never ever have seen himself doing - like donning a FULL ON Prince Charming suit and being the Prince at one of Bella's princess-themed birthday parties. Or dressing up as Darth Varder and invading Jedi Training Camp at one of Jack's parties. (OK - that was his ultimate dream and I didn't hear one word of complaint about that one.He complained bitterly about the doublet and tights for Prince Charming.And No - there are NO photos.)

This year my party planning madness is limited to Bella. Jack wanted his party to be at Medieval Times. Which was AWESOME! Crazy expensive...but it was a GREAT time. You know it is a well-run experience when the adults, the 12-year old and the 9-year olds ALL loved it. If you've never done it I highly recommend it. And while it was super-fun - there was no planning or prep on my part. So all of my creative juices are now going to be flowing to Bella...and she's not happy about it. Where as, at one time, she appreciated my crazy, I mean spirited party planning, this year she's all "It's just 3 girls Mom." And "Like, I just want to have them sleepover and hang out. No big deal."

What I WANT to say is: "No big deal??? WHAT? It is a HUGE deal! You are turning 12!!! You are on the cusp of womanhood! You are straddling childhood and adulthood. This is a pivotal time in your life and for GOD'S SAKE you WILL REMEMBER THIS BIRTHDAY IF IT KILLS ME!"

What I actually said was: "Oh, OK. That's cool. But we sort of should plan a few small games or activities - you know. Just in case people get bored or don't like the movie or something."

And her response KILLED me:

Bella: "Like what? Mom seriously. Nothing crazy."

Like what does she think I am going to plan? A rousing game of Musical Chairs? A face painter?  A game of Around the World with multiplication flash cards? For the love of God - I've been 12. I KNOW that she doesn't want her MOTHER running games and activities like Julie the Cruise director. LAST year we had a Hunger Games sleepover and we played The Hunger Games - with weapons and people getting fake killed and it was awesome...until it started to rain and the games were suspended without a victor.But it was STILL awesome.

So - this year I have a co-party planner. I have to run EVERYTHING past the birthday girl. No surprises, nothing that might be "not cool". Whatever that might be...

But, I guess that is how it should be. She's getting older. Pulling away a bit. Exerting her new-found independence and freedom - a bit. She has definite opinions about what she wants and doesn't want.

Yes to after dark glow-in-the-dark candy hunt, spin the nail polish bottle, and chocolate fondue.

No to Pin the Kiss on Edward Cullen, make your own pillow-cases and friendship bracelet making.

Maybe to S'mores making, Beach-Ball questions game and some other activities.

So - now I'm off to Michael's and Jo Anne's and the dollar store to gather my supplies for the pre-approved list of games and activities. I feel like I'm planning a party with Hitler. I cannot imagine the agonizing that picking out a movie or two will entail. Anything " cool" I have already vetoed. Sorry - but I'm not showing a room full of 6th graders vampires having bed-breaking sex. Also not showing a movie that looked so awful that the PREVIEW  scared the crap out of me! Guess we'll have to be uncool with the movie.

I have a feeling that the upcoming teen years are going to be filled with quite a bit of give and take. I'll GIVE on the unimportant stuff - party games, favors - no problem. I will NOT give on the important stuff - like vampire sex, dating, and cut-off short-shorts.

So - I guess my days of planning elaborate birthday parties are coming to an end. It makes me sad...I'll have to find another outlet for my creativity. I wonder if it is too early to sign up for the Senior Prom Planning Committee?

This is FORTY!

Hey Peeps! Happy Easter!! I hope the bunny was good to everyone. He brought my kids their body weight in chocolate as he does every year. So - I must apologize. I have been tres negligent of my beloved blog and I know that for my tens of die-hard fans, that can be a bummer. But never fear - we've got a new post today. And the topic of today's post is...getting older and how much freaking fun that has been!

Many of you know that I turned 40 this past January.....81 days ago to be exact. And in the past 81 days - well, how does one put this? I've begun to fall apart! Not mentally or emotionally. Nope - I still have all of my marbles, the crayons are all sharp and still in the box - but physically? Well, that's another story.

 My journey to 40 started out really, really well. I spent the last week of my 30's in Sin City. That's right - VEGAS baby! If I was going to watch my 30's fizzle out - I was going to do it in style. So PC and I checked into The Wynn...highly recommend it btw... and began a weekend of debauchery!

It started like this:

with some upscale shopping...

sightseeing......

and fine dining....

But somehow, it ended like this:

 

"Hell No! I won't go bitches!!!!"

I guess that's what Vegas can do to a girl.It can take one classy lady and turn her into a hard partying, Cirque du Soleil watching  Momma who REFUSES to get out of her cushy, fluffy white bed that has a view like THIS:

(Really - who wants to leave THAT to go home and do mountains of laundry?)

Did I mention that everything in the room - the lights, tv, DRAPES, the BATHROOM lights - were all controlled by a big remote control panel next to the bed? Oh yes....even the drapes my Peeps. 

Needless to say - a good time was had by all...especially me. 

Forty wasn't looking - or feeling - so bad. Well - let's address the "looking" part before the feeling part...

So after we got home, I had one of those moments that can only be described by the term "watershed". Have you ever looked in the mirror - I mean really stopped and looked in the mirror and said:

 "Holy Mother of GOD! I look AMAZING!" 

Cool - me neither. No, I had a moment when I returned home where I looked in the mirror and said:

"Hmmmm - when did THAT happen?"

and 

"What in the name of God is THAT?"

Now it's not like I developed a third eye or a second head...but I started noticing some lines and other "things" that I SWEAR were NOT on my face or neck when I left Maryland for my "Forty is Fabulous" trip. Like seriously - they just appeared after the trip like an unwelcome birthday surprise from a creepy ex boyfriend....like herpes or something. While I'd like to believe that this little patch of VERY FINE lines around my eyes and on my neck are an after effect of the dry, dry desert air...me thinks they are not. So - in the past 81 days, I've gone from using skin-care products that say this:

To using skin care products that say this:

Yes, my Peeps, it's true. I now have to ask God for an ACTUAL miracle as I wash my face every morning and night. And, as I dry my wrinkly mug, I also have to ask the Lord to....

avoid creating any MORE fine lines as I sleep. (Laugh if you will - but ALL of these products - plus the entire "When Hope is not Enough" product line are sitting on my bathroom counter as I type.)

Then there is my friend Peri to contend with. You guys remember Peri - my crazy, psychotic new BFF who won't freaking leave me alone? Peri-menopause? She is super, duper fun. And since I turned 40 - she's been ON FIRE! She does CRAZY shit like makes me have these awesome hot flashes 8-19 times A DAY (No joke - worst day ever - 19 full on, dripping sweat down my back into my panties flashes.)  She's been getting funner and funner ever since we got home from Vegas. And by "funner" I mean a lot bitchier. I hate that slutbag. So - I gathered my courage together and finally called the doctor and sweetly cooed:

"Listen up you big lug! DO SOMETHING TO FIX THIS!!!!!!!!!"

And...thankfully - he did. HE is now my new boyfriend - replacing Ray Lewis, Jon Bon Jovi and Steven Tyler...all by suggesting that I add a little Estroven to my life. 

What is that you ask? What is Estroven? Well - simply put - Estroven is Peri's Kryptonite!!!!

It is an all-natural supplement designed to help gals like me who are battling the early onset of peri-menopausal symptoms. It has taken care of my hot flashes and night sweats and made me a MUCH happier person - which - let's face it - is a win-win for everyone around me. I LOVE this stuff. I still get a hot flash or 3 every day - but they aren't nearly as intense or as frequent. And trust me - that is a VERY good thing! 

So - we've tackled my new lines and wrinkles, my peri-menopause...now onto my newest and most annoying physical ailment...Achilles Tendinitis!!!! Yes - my Achilles tendon thinks it is way too cool to stay attached to the rest of my body and is trying to tear itself away from the inside out.Thankfully it is NOT torn or ruptured. But it is trying its darned hardest to tear. And for those of you who have been blessed to never have an Achilles injury - thank your lucky stars. Because it hurts - a lot. And when it hurts to WALK anywhere - you are screwed. I don't mean hurts as in sore or achy or even "ouch!". I mean hurts as in I-want-to-cry-every-time-I-take-a-step-and-I-don't-want-to-walk-anywhere. Which would be perfectly acceptable if I could remain in bed all day. But, my boss won't let me conduct sales presentations from bed and Jack can't reach the gas pedal in the van and Bella insists on being picked-up from her TaeKwon Do instead of walking home in the dark...so I'm kind of forced into walking. So - after 2 months of physical therapy that did nothing, my doctor put me in a walking cast and has me completely resting the foot as much as humanly possible. Which is really annoying. Don't get me wrong - I don't mind not having to do all of the house cleaning. But not being able to do fun stuff - like go rock climbing with the kids- really sucks. 

That's Jack....waaaaaaaaaay up there...

All of these changes in the last 81 days....since I turned 40. Coincidence? I think not. I think my body knows that it has come to the top of the hill and that it's about to go OVER it. But I WILL NOT go over without a fight! I am working to get this stupid tendon all healed up and will follow doctor's orders if it kills me. Ice, anti-inflammatory, physical therapy - I'm all in. I cannot face a future that involves orthodic shoes. I just cannot. I caved in and ordered a pair of orthodic slippers and a pair of orthodic sandals. I own ONE pair of shoes that the doctor feels are "safe" to wear with my aircast. ONE PAIR. All of the rest of my shoes sit sadly in their labeled boxes in my closet. They sit and taunt me. They seem to say: "Remember when you were young and could wear us?"   

I have to stop there...talking about my shoes is making me sad.....