Welcome to One Busy Momma! The Blog for Busy Moms by one Busy Mom.....

Welcome to my blog. One Busy Momma is my space to rant about my life and the things that happen in it. I have a crazy life - and instead of focusing on the crazy - I like to focus on the funny. Because if I focused on the craziness - well, I'd have been shipped off to an institution long, long ago. And while, I'll admit, there are some days when being institutionalized sounds PRETTY GOOD compared to making ANOTHER diorama at 1am - I'd rather be right where I am - in my messy house with my not so perfect kids making crooked dioramas in the middle of the night.

Friday, October 26, 2012

FRANKENSTORM 2012!!!!!!!!!!!

Batten down the hatches my Peeps! The storm of the century MIGHT be upon us! Holy CRAP! By the looks of the grocery store parking lot - you would think that we were facing a zombie apocolypse instead of a Noreaster! The storm might hit the Mid-Atlantic at some point on Monday. It is FRIDAY and the stores are out of water and ice. Seriously people? Seriously?

I am all for being prepared. I am. I went to Target this morning and stocked up on toilet paper - in case we all get dysentary this weekend, we're covered. I got paper towels, tissues, paper plates and cups. I got 3 cases of diet soda, dog food, cat food and people food. I also got emergency brownie mix, cupcake mix and halloween Funfetti frosting. I also got a JUMBO bottle of Advil - because I know that if we lose power - my kids will drive me to headache central 15 minutes into the power outage. I also got coals for the grill. And wine - lots and lots of wine. PC will run and get cold cuts on Sunday - if there are any left! But some people are going NUTSO! Home Depot got a shipment of 50 generators last night. They were ALL gone by 8am. Sears also had generators...for $700.00. Say WHAT?????

Now I know that you are all super-duper smart and know to clean out your storm drains...whatever they are. And to clean out your gutters and redirect any water flow away from your home's foundation. However, Busy Momma has some unique storm preparededness tips for you all. These tips will help you ride out the storm in style.

First and foremost - have the proper supplies on hand. And by supplies, I mean wine and cheese. I suggest having a nice variety of wines - a nice Pinot Grigio is what I call a multi-purpose white. It goes with everything - from cheeses to pizza to hot dogs on the grill. It is your perfect storm white. If you are looking for a nice, storm-appropriate red - I would go with a nice Pinot Noir. I suggest the Sterling Vineyards Pinot Noir. It has a nice complexity but it is light enough to go with PB&J and grilled fare - like dogs and burgers. Now I am heading to Wegman's to get a nice cheese plate on Sunday. I suggest you all do the same. Pair your cheese plate with a nice baguette, some grapes and your wine and you have an electricty free meal my friends. Drink enough of the wine and you won't care if the power is out!

Pre-panning is the key to survival in these types of natural disasters. So - I plan on baking a pan of brownies and a batch of cupcakes on Sunday - before the storm hits. The brownies are for me. The cupcakes are for the kids. When the power goes out, and they discover that they cannot log on to Club Penguin or play Wii, they will need something to occupy their time. So - they can decorate cupcakes while PC and I drink more wine. I also plan on having some raw Tollhouse chocolate chip cookie dough on hand. This is also for me - and me alone. I find eating raw cookie dough to be calming to my nerves. I also do some of my best thinking while eating raw cookies and drinking cold milk. This will come in handy when I have to think about how to get the 12 inches of water out of my basement without my sump-pump -because it is broken and I forgot to call the guy to fix it. (In my defense - if we have no power - the stupid sump pump wouldn't work anyway - right?)

I also am a firm believer in the power of  positive thinking and making the BEST out of a BAD situation. So, while PC is bailing out the basement - I plan on using my time wisely. You know how they tell you to fill up the bathtubs with water? Well, I will. This way, I can use some of the water to soak my feet and give myself a wonderful home pedicure and foot treatment. I also plan on deep conditioning my hair, doing a home-facial and full-on hand treatment. So make sure that you have nail polish, polish remover, cotton, orange sticks, body butter, cuticle cream, a nice mask, a very hydrating moisturizer, and a deep conditioning treatment on hand. These, of course, are your basic beauty-storm supplies. If you still have these left from the last storm - then add the finishing touches, like cuticle oil, a parrafin machine, extra blocks of parrafin, heated mittens, scented eye pillows and a variety of body massagers and body oils and creams.

So - where does that leave us? I think we are all prepared. We have wine, cheese, essential food stuffs and basic at-home beauty supplies. OH - I forgot. books and candles. Now, depending on your situation - you want to make some very wise decisions over the next 24-hours when it comes to books and candles. These descisions will rely entirely on your husband and his behavior in the past few weeks:
 If your husband has been very, very good - I mean super-duper great...or if you've been a HUGE bitch for really no reason - then, here are my suggestions:
Candles: lots and lots and lots of small votive candles and larger lightly scented candles - all placed in the bedroom and around the bathtub.
Books: Fifty Shades of Gray trilogy, Bared to You  and other such smutty materials
Bonus Buy: Condoms...and lots of them.

If your husband has been a Jackhole lately, then I suggest a different approach:
Candles: heavily scented Yankee Candles - I suggest any one that has roses on the picture - placed right next to HIS side of the bed
Books: Anything by Naiomi Wolf or Gloria Steinam. Or The Vagina Monologues or the insert in the Tampex tampons box, the insert in the Monostat box or pages you've printed off of the internet about vasectomies or circumcision practices in the Middle Ages. Or the book: Re-Circumcision for Dummies. Any of those reading selections should do the trick.

In this case - you probably won't need the condoms -unless you're doing some sort of CRAZY arts and crafts project. (And if you are - send photos!) But you probably WILL need an extra roll of cookie dough to keep you warm when the power goes out.
So - that's it peeps. I hope we all survive this FRANKENSTORM! See you guys on the other end! I'm sure you will all be much more relaxed, your hair will be shiny and bouncy and your toes will look terrific!

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